Hi.I am really struggling with mental health issues and alcoholism.
I wake up shaking so much.
I have been to see the local psychologist here in Thailand, but they can't help me with my alcoholism. They have just prescribed me with 10mg diazepam twice a day, which is helping me with my mood, but also told me to stop taking the previous prescribed 0.5mg clonazepam twice a day.
So now I am suffering with panic attacks, which the clonazepam helped with.
To cut a long story short, I live alone with no family or friends.
I self harmed last week with a 4 inch stab wound to the abdomen.
Hospital stitched me up, and ultrasound showed no serious damage to stomach or vital organs.
But I question why I have been told to stop taking the clonazepam?
And yes I know that I should not be drinking!
But I am in a serious situation, so I am reaching out for some constructive help from all of you.
AA are no help here, because that relies on prayer, and I am agnostic.
I can't stop crying and drinking.
Has anyone on here gone through this same problem, and how do I deal with this?
And please only give me constructive advice and support.
I am not convinced that I should stop the low dose clonazepam, even though I am now taking 2 X 10mg diazepam daily.
I am now also suffering with "head zaps" which is obviously not pleasant.
Any advice, or friendship would be greatly appreciated.
Patez
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patez
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I hope that you do find the help that you need...your request is not unusual...
Keep Googling/looking...there is a place out there for you to connect.
Blessings, and keep us posted!
Hello Patez
Thanks for sharing your experience with this community, it took courage for you to come on here and open up the way you did. The panic attacks I can most definitely relate to as I was getting these every day, they are awful and make you feel like you're going to die. Well, I didn't die, in fact the attacks usually passed after 20/30 minutes. It's all in the slowing down of the breathing and i've included a link to a useful video that you can use when a panic attack begins, it's really good and helped me.......
I cannot understand why your psychologist couldn't signpost you, they usually provide links to support groups and other services and should have also given you a crisis support line due to your awful incident.
The key here is support, one thing's for sure, you are not alone, I know this doesn't help much, but it's all about finding that service and joining the right group.
Where are you with regards to further appointments? Push your doctor and find out exactly why your medication was changed, maybe the doctor can put you back on Clonazepam, who knows?
They could, and should, suggest professional support for you, don't let them brush you under the carpet, you have as much right to professional help as anyone else, so pressure them and get them to make a referral.
I did find a YouTube channel that might interest you regarding the alcoholism, click the link below and it should take you there directly. There's a fair bit of info on there and some interesting videos, you may find them helpful.
There are some great channels that can provide some very useful information with regards to the mental health, you can contact them and they do respond. The Anxiety Guy, Trey Jones and Therapy In A Nutshell, all have some excellent videos on their channels and have personal experience, which helps.
Hope you can find these links useful, in the meantime, take care and stay safe.
Hi.Thank you for your kind support and taking the time to answer.
I forgot to mention that I am British but retired in Thailand, where mental health support is very limited, and AA here have proved to be almost useless.
I actually asked the local psychiatrist to change my medication from clonazepam to diazepam, because I know that diazepam helped me a lot in the past with my mood, whereas clonazepam actually doesn't help me much, apart from controlling the panic attacks.
I have monthly follow up appointments with the local Thai psychiatrist, so I will talk with him again during my next appointment.
He is fully aware that I am an alcoholic, but cannot offer me any support. He didn't even mention the danger of mixing diazepam with alcohol, but I know from experience that drinking while taking diazepam has never caused me a problem.
The local Thai psychiatrist did try and help me with off label use of Topamax, and then gabapentin for the alcohol abuse, but it didn't help me to curb my alcohol addiction.
I have only just started taking the diazepam, and from what I have read, it can take 2 to 4 weeks to help with alcoholism.
Hi, I had this strange feeling that you were British (don't ask me why).
For someone who is dependant on alcohol, a nerve depressant drug like Diazepam is asking for trouble, but your doctor had his reasons I guess. It's not that I'm advising against, but I'm sure this combination is dangerous.
It sounds to me like you have no support over there? I'm not sure what your situation is as to friends/family, are they here in the UK? Do you still speak? Have you thought about returning to the UK? You sound isolated and detached, I don't think this will help the situation as everyone needs support and a little love goes a long way.
AA sounds like a good idea as you can connect with others in a similar position to yourself, even make friends, but again, I don't know what this is like in Thailand.
The mental health definitely needs addressing as you need to be in the right frame of mind to be able to deal with your alcohol battle, and you'll be lacking in self-esteem and confidence. You're crying out for help and you must get it one way or another.
You did the right thing by coming on here, and I feel your pain, but I would prioritise speaking to your doctor again as there is a way out of this for you, with the correct help and advice of course. Please stay safe.
I have tried almost everything, and nearly at the end of my tether.
I am actually in tears while writing this.
No I don't have any family that talks to me. My Father passed away on 04/04/2022 and that has been very hard to deal with.
1 month later I was diagnosed with a heart condition requiring a stent.
Since then my life has literally fallen apart. I used to be very physically active, going dinghy sailing every day, but I suddenly turned to drinking heavily, which I guess was the mental stress from losing my Father, and my recovery from the heart operation did not go well.
Yes I have become very emotional and all I want to do is cry all the time.
Drinking helps me to calm down and stop the fairly severe DT's.
I have tried to take Naltrexone, which is actually not available in Thailand, but it made me violently sick, with severe vomiting.
The diazepam should have helped, but sadly it is not helping much at all. I was given a diazepam injection last week when I saw the psychiatrist, in a very emotional state, and that worked immediately, but the tablets are not helping much.
I will talk again with the psychiatrist during my next appointment next month.
There is another possible medicine, lorazepam, which is not as strong or as addictive as diazepam, from what I understand?
And all I really want is to get back to sailing again, because that was always my salvation, but the onset of the physical disability of alcoholism has robbed me of all my strength.
I guess I still have a long road to recovery!
Finding the right medication that works for me is probably the key?
I can relate to a lot of what you're going through, I've been bedridden for the last two years and used to be very active, I worked, went for trips and holidays etc...
I have Postural Tachycardia Syndrome (PoTS), where the heart beats at an abnormal rate when in an upright position, so a trip to the bathroom takes careful planning, I can relate to you not having any kind of life.
The alcohol has been a coping mechanism for you. You've certainly had it tough over the last year or so, and have faced with personal loss, you're still here and have a lot to offer.
Was your operation a success? How do you feel about that now?
Yes you have a long way to go, but it's not impossible for you, it's the support that you're lacking and it's this that will get you through, i'm hoping that your doctor can signpost you properly and sort you some proper support.
If the Diazepam isn't really helping then I would be getting off that, you just need a good support service who will encourage you and help your self esteem, then you can concentrate on the alcohol.
You've hit a bad patch, but I believe you can turn this around and get your life back, doing the things you used to enjoy. You already have a goal and that's to go sailing again, this is a good foundation for recovery.
I actually had a very emotional "scare " last night, when my ex girlfriend suddenly appeared late at night. With no explanation, she plonked herself on the bed, even though I had been very specific that she was not welcome.
That ended up with me calling the police for the 3rd time about her erratic behaviour.
Traumatic for me to say the least!
The police ordered her to leave immediately, which she did.
Yes she is now on drugs, which was not the case when we 1st met, or maybe she was? I never found out.
Yes I fell in love with her, which only increases my anxiety now.
To answer your question regarding my heart operation, it went well, but the medication that I now have to take is a constant drain on my meagre finances. I live in Thailand and the health insurance refused to pay, due to a small error in my declaration.
I have seen the local psychiatrist yet again, and I have been switched to lorazepam. Wow! What a big difference that has made, even after a few days.
2 days ago I felt very tired and sick and went to the local Thai a&e, where they found that I was very close to dying with severe potassium deficiency. Not alcohol related, but due to the fact that I need to take diuretics for hypertension.
I have an awful long way to go yet.
The incident with my ex girlfriend has set me back a long way.
I keep on thinking about my sailing, but until I can get my mental health issues sorted, and my potassium deficiency sorted, sailing is out of the question.
I don't even know how I can even feed myself, with being almost bedridden myself, with no friends or family or local support.
Yes I keep looking at the large amounts of left over clonazepam and diazepam, but I really don't want to die yet.
I have my fingers and toes crossed that the lorazepam will be my saviour!
Oh wow, what an intense moment for you, I can understand the trauma of seeing her like this being such a mental strain. Did she give a reason for visiting you? Her behaviours certainly won't help you at a time like this. It's a shame things couldn't have been different for you both, you could have helped each other through these challenging times.
I'm glad your medication has been changed, indeed give them a chance and let it get into your system, see how you feel in a couple of weeks. I hope the Lorazepam works for you. I would encourage you to please throw those old meds away, as long as they're around, the temptation will always be there, that's not the answer.
I'm sorry to hear that the insurance are refusing to pay for your medication.
Being bedridden is very difficult, i'm lucky to have my partner in the evenings and at weekends, but during the day i'm by myself. I can usually manage a quick trip to the kitchen and grab something easy, make a cuppa, but it's limited. I keep my afternoon meals short like heating soup, beans, noodles in the microwave, or even a quick pot noodle for convenience.
As for the potassium, I had a slightly low level of potassium last year and was advised to eat more bananas and tomatoes, so maybe this could be another option for you, to keep your levels up.
You've a very long way to go, but definitely lack support and don't seem to be getting it where you are. I can't think of another outlet for you in Thailand, I don't know what services are available there or how good they are, so it looks as though you'll have to rely on the online facilities, telephone, videocalls etc..
I've had a look for you online and came across the following, maybe you've tried these already? Have a look anyway...
*msf.org - Offers psychological support/counselling, this could the key to getting yourself some support.
*Samaritans of Thailand - 02 113 6789 (Press 2)
*ncsbkk.com - Fully licenced counselling centre in Bangkok, provides mental health service, counselling and support to expats in Thailand.
*psiadmin.com - counselling, therapy and assessment services
*NAMI.org - this is an online support service, email- helpline@nami.org, or text "helpline" to sms:62640
I'm not sure if these will help, but you never know.
Hi my heart went out 2 u wen I read your post. Believe me that comes from my own experience I don't want to cause you any more pain than u are already feeling.Can u go back and ask to b put back on clonozapam I have no experience of that drug but if it was helping then u shouldn't have bin taken off it
AA is for everyone believer or not I have met people from all religions and no religions over the years. if u feel it could help go its about how to cope with life sober not what u believe. If your local meeting is clichy and unsupportive could you try a different bigger meeting.
Drink is just the symptom of your illness I.e poor mental health which gets worse ( as u well know )
Your self harm correct me if I'm wrong is about trying to take away the pain in your head ( I used to head but and punch walls to try and shut my head up ) also I hated myself so much I didn't care.
I am trying not to advise but if u r drinking on diazapam it's a dangerous combination ( again I speak from experience not judging) please try not to drink on it.
You are the type of person this world needs and you are important and worth so much more than your head is telling you. You matter I would love to hear how you progress its so hard but there is a way 4ward and out of the vicious cycle you r in
I dont know where your family is (or even if you have good family links )but have you considered going back. Just a thought
Yes the self harming is a temporary release when my emotions get the better of me.
I think that the diazepam should help me with the mood swings, which is why I asked the local Thai psychiatrist to prescribe it. I remember a long time ago during a very traumatic divorce that it really helped to calm me down.
Fingers crossed that when I get control of my mood swings, I will be able to curb my alcohol addiction.
Hi Patez, thanks for replying I so hope that the meds help you with your mood swings and give u sum relief. If you are struggling reach out on here. Let us know how you get on
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