I Appropriate Moaning...!

[CarolineLondon]

Hi

I have come here for a moan! A Moan you say! Well, that's wholly inappropriate, we don't hear from you for days and you pop up for a moan!!

For a very short time there I got to see a psychotherapist in training, a more objectionable man you couldnt wish to meet, the upshot is because Im not suicidal I don't get help. Well that's a kind of a plus and a minus right there!

I've started school again (Adult Ed) and Im working my arse off. If Im not working, Im thinking about it, if Im not thinking about it Im dreaming about it, all my books are technical. So what you say! Thats your choice, well sometimes the pressure (my own pressure on me) brings me down.

So my question is this when is a moan and grumble, a moan and grumble?

And when is it okay to say ouch this hurts and its worthy of a counselling session and some help?

Sometimes that Registrar for that's what he was, made me feel like I was simply wining on, well maybe I was!

Today I was due to go to a do, I just wanted to feel my self centred BF supported me, instead we got into a barny where I ended up wining and you guessed it we didnt get to go. I could have gone alone (although time ran out), I just feel so alone in my attempt at world domination through going back to school and studying design. Anyway from here on in the sensible thing is to forget I have a partner and when Im invited just say Ill be alone is that ok, lesson learnt.

However now I feel like Im wining, moaning, nagging, but actually Im very hurt, I feel really bad more awful than I should feel and I think is 'that' the depression at work. So that maybe if I didnt suffer from depression I could put this down to a bad hair day. Is that the difference? I just dont think should feel this guilty and this bad.

So my question is what constitutes a) a moan? b) what constitutes a really bad feeling and not moaning but a real complaint?

What do you think?

And has anything Ive written make any sense at all..lol

X

[Stilltrying_]

Hi Caroline and hello you!!! Yes it makes sense; the thing is you're feeling quite bad about something and wondering whether you are justified in feeling that so rather than just feeling it you are questioning whether it is valid or not.

It is valid because it's how you're feeling!! It comes up quite often that your BF is rather selfish but then I know at the same time you understand each other and I expect you have your faults too as we all do (except me lol )

It sounds like you've thrown yourself into the course which is great! Yes I agree with you that next time you're invited to something you don't always have to get BF to come along. If you want to go then you should make a point of going! It will be a different experience without your BF and who knows you might meet a less selfish but still charming other man whilst you are out; you never know who you will bump into!

I feel you are feeling hurt but have been told by other people that that constitutes moaning. Hurt is hurt and you feel hurt Caroline.

Sorry you feeling hurt; it isn't nice but just try and be nice to yourself and comfort yourself; other people don't always understand our needs; I would love it if they did but failing that then just try and comfort yourself and say "Caroline you are feeling hurt and I am going to try and look after you." That's what I try to do with my "little me" though often it doesn't work but at least to recognise you are hurt and its ok to feel hurt and you're not a nuisance or a moan may be a good thing for you to do.

Hugs to you

Gemma XXX

[CarolineLondon in reply to Stilltrying_]

Blood Briiiliant reply Gemma in every sense. Youre right on so many things.

I suppose I just hate 'the poor me', thing my Mum does it and it really gets on my nerves sometimes. She has a right to say poor me sometimes, but all the time! So when I say to myself, 'poor me' it has baggage and yes you wonder if you 'should' feel like that.

You know whats playing on my mind, I live near where Alice Goss died and now they may have found the body of the Latvian its like something out of a film. It's fair upset me, more than I'd like to say really. The idea that a person could go out one day for a walk and be dead the next , well its not fair!

Librans we get stuck on fair it's so stupid because we know things often aren't fair and what is fairness anyway! Its happened before that something seemly unrelated has set me off kilter and then something else unrelated has really upset me. Maybe some form of transference?

Thanks for defending the BF I prefer people being real and saying come on now young lady its as much you as him...lol. (yeah but Im not going to say that too myself...lol) And the bit about meeting someone less ...well when I say selfish, he's more self obsessed actually, just how he is, it isn't a personal insult to me.

So thank you for lots of good advice as always!

Hows Mum now and how are you, if you dont mind me asking?

X

[Stilltrying_ in reply to CarolineLondon]

She's still on intensive care ward Caroline but they say that is because they don't have beds on the main ward. She seems stable and settling down , off the morphine blood pressure normal and so on so looking more promising than we could ever have imagined a few days ago.X

Oh yes me as well; well I've been walking so pretty tired; there was a lot of uphill but that's really good for me as gets the endorphins going. Obviously overall I still have the same issues but temporarily picked up and distracted by the walking ; so it works for me as a very good coping strategy for me. Thanks X

[CarolineLondon]

Walking that's NOT driving or cycling?....lol. Well done, walking is sooo good for you, I hate walking, I just dont get it....Doh!....lol

I'm so pleased your mum is on the mend all be it a long road yet. XX

X

[Suzie40]

I think a moan is when you complain about something that isn't really affecting you. Moaning because the woman next door to me gets more in benefits than I do in salary. That's a moan.

A really bad feeling is something that's justifiable. I feel sad today because my Mum situation is making me feel that way.

[CarolineLondon in reply to Suzie40]

Lucy since you're here can I share a couple of things.

Oh and thanks for the reply

lll go back to your post 'boring' because it belongs to that and hope it helps

X

[CarolineLondon in reply to Suzie40]

Lucy what is it when you want to kick your BF in the Shins but you understand his right to say he doesnt want to go to a do and is too tired and you want to give him a hug....whilst kicking him in the shins?....lol

Now Gemma did Jung cover that

X

P.S I think you're being very patient with your Mum Both of you!

[Hidden]

Hiya Caroline chuck. Have missed you and thought you had deserted us! That's great you are doing a college course though it sounds way above my head However you are going to pass your exams and get a brilliant job and earn lots of dosh Then you will have so many extra friends you won't know how to fit them all in...

Some people can only communicate through moaning can't they? And they are a pain in the a..

You wanna moan or have a rant feel free friend. Good on ya

Love Bev xxx

[CarolineLondon in reply to Hidden]

*Caroline gets out her feltip pen and leans over to Bev's notebook when she's not looking and scribbles in it! ...ooops, sorry, what was that you 'missed' me...lol !

Yeah school, moan moan, partner moan moan, homework moan moan...ha ha

I don't know you can only hope in the long run it will get you a good job, trying not to focus on that now, just on developing my design identity/persona if you like. Not sure 'school kid' is to corporate though, may have to hide the 'real' me, pose as a grown up....eeerg!!!

Dessert ...well if its gluten free count me in, if it was up to me Id eat chocolate cake ...aaaallll day long

Hope you're well Bev and thanks for the support, was lovely to wake to your message...hoorah!

BIG KISS XX

[Hidden]

Aw bless you sweetie pie Bev xx

[Hidden]

If you moan and groan people leave you alone

If you rumble and grumble people don't phone

But if you are not vile and continue to smile

A friend is the end result. xx

[CarolineLondon]

That's very cute, well I just HAVEN'T made friends with someone at South West Trains complaints, this morning...ha ha. ...Zoinks ( I can say that because as you can see ...I am Thelma! )

X