Partner: I've been dating my girlfriend... - Men's Health Forum

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I've been dating my girlfriend for like 4 years now, already preparing to get married. But I've noticed recently that, after we have sex and most times she gets tired first. After the sex she still tells me to play with her clit till she's fine. My question is, is it that she isnt satisfied with the sex we're having or not, cause I've been so so confused. Am i doing something wrong?

15 Replies

I do not think anyone here can know what your girlfriend is thinking. I strongly suggest that you talk to her and get any issues sorted before you get married.

Thank you, we've spoken about it, but she says its fine, well i think maybe she's not properly satisfied, because if she is she wont want any form of stimulation, judging from other sexual partners I've had.

Hi mate, It sounds to me as if it is a chore and you have a 'set' time for sex, take it easy, as long as it takes it takes two to cum, maybe she is late cumming, when I was married (happily divorced via affair I had) we used to do the business and many times we would cum together, however if I came first or she then we would go back and finish each other off with oral, both satisfied then and take your time, this is supposed to be sensual for both of you, hope this helps

Thank you, but during penetration, shes literally thr first to say, she's tired so i just assumed she's orgasm'd already but after i try to orgasm, she tells me to still play with her (clitoral stimulation) and then she orgasm so hard when i do that. So i just think I'm not doing the sex right if she can't orgasm During sex.

A lot of women don’t orgasm by sex alone. Some need a bit of clitoral stimulation as well.

Fair point. I just feel at least she should be able to at least orgasm during penetration.

Wrong. Many, many women may never orgasm from penetration. It depends on so many factors; technique, size, mental state.... There are ways of stimulating the clitoris during penetration, and that may be something you want to consider if your partner needs this to feel fulfilled. Happy to give some pointers.

Everyone’s different of course, but I’ll often use clitoral stimulation as a prominent part of foreplay, so that my wife has had at least one orgasm before penetrative sex even starts.

Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just take the time to explore what your partner enjoys and make sure you communicate with each other.

See the thing is that when My fiance gets a climax, she doesn't want to go anymore.. Thats how she feels after a clitoral Stimulation.

If you have a healthy relationship with your fiance you need to talk to her. Be honest and open and ask her if there are certain things that she likes that to be done to her during sec. Long term sexual partners can become stagnant and boring. You need to inject a bit of spice and excitement back into your sex life but your not going to achieve that by not talking to each other frankly. Life is challenging and stressful at the best of times, spending quality time together is the key to a healthy relationship and sex life. Trust me I've been with my now wife for over 27 yrs, were doing great because we talk openly and honestly, take it from an old buck variety is the spice of life and effort always equals reward! 👍👍

Thank you Ricardo, but when we talk she says, she's fine and she just likes the stimulation, cause it gives her a different feeling and I don't know how to process that information

You've got to realise that women are stimulated different to men. A lot of women can have multiple orgasm's from being touched in different parts of their bodies and not just from straight sex. Your no less of a man because she likes to be touched in that way bud you have absolutely nothing to worry about it perfectly normal sexual behaviour.👍

Thank you so much bud, we spoke about this yesterday, and she said something similar.

There you go bud, nothing to stress about.👍

Try different positions, if she can access with her fingers whilst you inside her that may satisfy you both. Important not to stress about it. Experiment and enjoy.

Unusual, I know, but I've only had one sexual partner since I'm still with my wife from when we met when I was 19 (I'm now 70 and she 69) so I can't pretend I have a lot of personal experience. However, I have been trained and worked in couples therapy and agree with all of the other reponses you've had. Relax, believe her if she says she's satisfied enough for her needs, and remember the genders are built very differently. One thing that surprised me early in my marriage was that my wife could continue with clitoral stimulation after climaxing (usually with caresses and direct finger stimulation rather than penetration) whereas I would have to rest awhile before I could have a second orgasm. I think it's because we are built more for seed transmission rather than bonding, even though both are obviously important. However, nature prefers discontented pairings if necessary, rather than to miss the opportunity of reproducing the species!

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