30 Something and Tired

[RedsFa]

Hello everyone! New to the group and looking for some advice. I am going to give some information about my lifestyle and medical history. If anyone would like to contribute I would greatly appreciate it. I am a 38 year old white male, 6 foot and approximately 310 lbs. I have smoked for 21 years now and eat out more than I eat in. I have over the last 5 months started eating no meat except seafood.

As a kid I never had any medical problems. Have never even had a surgery and only 1 broken bone in my life. This extended in to my 20's and even my early 30's. Ive been pretty fortunate to say the least. About 5 years ago I went through a rough divorce and went from someone that once went 6 years without going to the doctors to someone that felt like I needed to go every week. I had started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. It was pretty rough for the first few years trying to get the medications just right and learning how to live and cope with the anxiety attacks. Now 5 years out from my divorce (and a new, better, less stressfull job) I can honestly say that the anxiety only occassionally bothers me. However with that now mostly behind me I have encountered a new set of problem.

So here is what I pretty much go through on a daily basis. I have stomach pains, bloating, chest pains, arm pains, nausea, heartburn, bad headaches (occassionally), muscle pain, and Im sure more Im not thinking of right now. I sound like a hypocondriac, I know. But Im really not....LOL.

So here is my question. I want to quit smoking. I want to start eating better. I want to start excercising. I just never seem to have the "gumption" to do it. I am always so tired and hurting. I had my testosterone checked and it is good. What can I do to get over this "hump" and get my life on track ?

I know thats a lot of information to digest but if anyone needs any additional just ask. I am really looking for help before I get to that day and look back like "What the hell did I do with my life?".

Thanks in advance for any help!

[therapist1965]

It seems to me that your painful divorce has taken its toll on you emotionally, mentally and physically. Your self esteem has plummeted, and the future and purpose of your life seems very unclear. Your body is distraught. Your mind is like a compass needle which keeps on going round and round, not settling on where the north is. So you get nowhere.

What you need is someone reliable who can help you regain self esteem recognise your talents and inner strengths, identify and overcome unhelpful thinking . You CAN recover. Come back to me if you wish to continue the conversation. 🙂

[jaglad]

I think you have largely answered your own questions.

A lot of your problems appear to be linked. Start by quitting smoking, at least seek help. If in the UK your local NHS will help you, or possibly your employer may have schemes available. Eat more healthily, and take up exercise, swimming is a good start. But make all changes gradual, give your body and lifestyle time to adjust.

As therapist suggests talking may help, give you ideas and motivation.

Good luck

[RedsFa]

Thank you to everyone that has replied so far. I really appreciate it. I agree I need to start making gradual changes because if I try to go at everything at once I think I will fail. Nowhard - thank you for the advice, I did have a testoserone test ran and it was well within normal range.

[Tubsthemonkey]

I agree that you probably have underlying and unresolved issues from your past that you may want to seek some help for, your GP may be able to point you in the right direction.

I got to a stage in my life where I had to lose weight as I felt I just couldn’t stop eating crap and enough was enough. I used the MyFitnessPal app, weight loss is simple maths at the end of the day, burn more than you eat. It is also 80% food 20% exercise.

I started swimming, cycling and then started CrossFit! Loved them all, but Crossfit is addictive and gives you a family! I am not perfect by any means as I have put most of the weight back on, but this was due to getting married, having kids going for promotion and all while studying for a masters, so I just ran out of time for the fitness and so started eating badly again! I have enjoyed putting it back on though!!!!! Lol

I have now started to regain control, doing the couch to 5k and started doing some weights again, I won’t lose it as quickly as last time due to not enough hours in the day!

The trick is finding what is right for you, if you don’t enjoy it then you will not do it! But the more you do something the better you become and do the more you enjoy it! I hate running until it starts to become easier! When I can run for 5k without stopping then I start to enjoy it! Bit of a way off that at the moment though!

I have loads of other tips etc, let me know if you need anything! And good luck!