Fetishes and arousal

[WellySam]

Ok guys, this is kind of difficult for me. I have a number of fetishes, and have done so since I was quite young. I am bi-sexual but have had more relationships with men than women of late.

For a long time I fulfilled my fetish needs in pretty innocent ways or when alone. Like I have a strong fetish for heavy duty waterproofs and wellingtons boots. My friends have kind of got used to me turning up at the pub or to football in a heavy duty waterproof and wellies like I was going sea fishing 😂!

But as I get older I have found a stronger desire to share my fetishes and to involve them in sex. I have very little experience of this, other than a few outdoor shags where I 'happened' to be in gear than turned me on.

The thing is that I am finding it hard to get aroused with one of more of my kinks being involved. I use Tadafil as it is to get a god erection, but without some kink element I dont get aroused at all.

Do you have any strong fetishes? Have you brought them into a relationship? If show did you do that?

[Hidden]

I have a fetish for enemas. I got them growing up and started liking them at a young age and have continued using them throughout my life. I can get erections normally but use Viagra to keep it for longer time. My wife takes part in my fetish and we have a good time with it.

[WellySam in reply to Hidden]

That's good and very interesting. Enemas are a chore for me but I'm glad you like them.

I've occasionally thought that I like messing myself when in a diaper (although often it's just a pain) but then have felt too ashamed to do it deliberately.

[OtOFrance]

Hi WellySam I hope you are fine today ?

I think we all have more or less strong fetishes and we all live with them. As long as they do not have a negative impact on others ... They are a "non-question", part of what you like as well as vanilla, banana or chocolate may be something you like or dislike.

Do you feel uncomfortable with those fetishes ? Do they take too much room in your "private life" ?

Let's keep talking !

Take care

Love from France

O

[WellySam in reply to OtOFrance]

Yes my fetishes are starting to take over, or at least that's how it feels. Whenever sex is a possibility all I can think about is how to incorporate them

[Jazznut]

Hi Sam, I sympathise, because we can't choose our kinks, we tend to get them randomly at a young age, and keep them for life.

I have an unusual but different turn-on, but I dare not tell my GF because she wouldn't get it and participate, she'd probably run a mile and that would be the end.

So I'm afraid that I just think about it when I'm having sex with her, which is still enjoyable for her sometimes (we're late 50s) and think about my kink – which I've had since I was 8 – a lot more when I'm on my own, and need a turn-on. Hope that helps.

[jaglad in reply to Jazznut]

Jazznut I would say if your fetish is not to extreme then why not try a milder form of whatever it is, or bring it up in conversation. If you mention it and her reaction is completely negative then you know, if she is curious then move forward, slowly.

[Jazznut in reply to jaglad]

Well I sort of did hint at it once, and I know she thinks all those sorts of things are off limits. I have the same reaction to anything that's like role play or domination.

[jaglad in reply to Jazznut]

That is a shame. We do try different things occasionally and I find Mrs Jag enjoys most things though is often reluctant to try.

Don't give up.

[Hidden in reply to Jazznut]

Is it worth trying to give a little on her fetish with role playing or domination to see if she would then be a little more willing to give a little as well with yours?

[jaglad]

If your fetish is starting to take over then maybe you should try cutting back on it. If you abstain from your fetish then 'normal' sex may become more exciting ? You can then bring back your fetish for occasional special occasions and this may make it more pleasurable.

I think most of us enjoy one fetish or another, and why not. Provided it not to extreme and hurts no one, who does not want to be hurt, then it can be good.

[Jazznut in reply to jaglad]

Totally agree! The problem these days is that because of the porn industry, all kinks get a bad name because they portray aggressive and non-consensual situations, rather than people trying stuff in a loving relationship.

[PlutoC]

I see where u get the name from lol

[IncognitoC]

I have a fairly basic and usual kink. I’m a gay guy and I like dr martens jock straps and leather harness

[Hidden]

I think we all have fetishes and as long as they are safe and not hurting anyone then enjoy them. It can be tough to talk about them at times due to perception and the stigma that goes with them. If starting to overtake your ability to get aroused without it might be best to just take a break with them as a whole for a little bit. Fetishes should be something enjoyable and not needed but I can totally relate with you on that as easier said than done.

[Wilfred555]

I'm 78 and never had sex with a man ! When I was around 11 or 12 an older boy (prob 15 or so took me into his father's shed and tried to penetrate me. His penis was large and he didn't manage penetration.But I still remember how good it felt to be fondled and the warmth of his penis against my buttocks.

The memory has never left me and occasionally I masturbate and think of this incident.

Does this mean I'm bi-sexual ?

Please help !

[ml66uk in reply to Wilfred555]

Sexual experiences at a young age, whether consensual or not, can have a huge impact, so it's not surprising you're still thinking about it decades later. I wouldn't say you were bisexual though, or that you necessarily need help.

[Wilfred555 in reply to ml66uk]

When I said please help it wasn't in desperation ! I quite enjoy fantasising about that episode back then. Even thought I have no intention of having sex with a man. It's confusing really but certainly not a problem !I'm just interested to see if there are others with the same feelings......

[Thomas67]

I have a foot fetish and like watching women walking barefoot. Thankfully my partner enjoys me sucking her toes!!

[Deirdre90]

Trigger warning: strong gay lust, underwear kink, mental health.

Hi I've had a fetish that's so strong its driven me nervous mental breakdown in 2003 because of inability to cope with the frustration of never being able to do anything with it with anyone. I'm a gay man nearly middle aged.It's a maddening urge all the time to smell men's underwear that men are or have been wearing. It affects my life, seeing men on tv who I feel so attracted to and I have to turn the channels off. I can't understand how to cope with this kink that I've had since as long as I can remember. I'm nearly 50 and I have never had a partner or explored this fetish as nobody I know wants to talk about it. I have a fetish for men farting as well and it's the lack of being able to act on it that causes me so much misery. I wish I had friends to talk to about this. Its so lonely having a kink that I just can't give a life of sharing to. Thanks for listening. It's great that I can feel open on here.

[AlsoStonesFreak]

I have a fetish for stockings. Used to feel so ashamed but after a lot of therapy, I enjoy it. My girlfriend enjoys it with me too.