lonely

[hello123456667]

i dont understand how other people have it so easy making and keeping a bunch of friends. My parents both have friends, my little sisters both have tons of friends or are hardly ever home. My boyfriend has a ton of friends. All of my acquaintances have tons of friends I just don't and it is awful and it makes me feel like I'm a total total loser. it makes me feel like people dont like me, think im boring, or something like that idk. it makes me feel so hopeless. i dont know how to find good people to be around. i dont understand why people dont reach out to me, EVER. i feel so fucking alone and so stuck, ive never felt this suicidal ever. i feel so lost and alone in every single way.

[gajh]

I don't have any friends in real life either. I have found some amazing friends here. Friends who actually understand what I am going through. I did recently join an 8 week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program and I am trying to be open to getting to know the other participants. I know online isn't as good as in person, but it is nice to have when you don't have anything else. I am glad you are reaching out.

[Knldork]

hey i have been facing the same issues , even today i was feeling sucidal litreally i feel like i dont have a life anymore , more like I shouldn’t live because everyone has atleast someone even my boyfriend stays busy with his friends and family even if i try my best i cant do it idk what’s happening but i am so confused with myself maybe i am the problem.

[Catsuit53]

I find it hard to find good people to be around too. What have you tried to find friends? I found some through Meetups.

[SHEPHER in reply to Catsuit53]

What's meet up

[Catsuit53 in reply to SHEPHER]

meetup.com/

[Sunrisetabby]

As you are hopefully aware, please let me also assure you that you are not a "total, total loser."

For me, it is hard to make friends because I don't like myself. How can anyone else like me if I don't like myself?

It sounds like you want to be around people more. There is a simplish solution : just ask. I take it way too personally when people say no, but I think it is almost definite they if you ask one hundred people to hang out at least one will say yes. One out of a hundred sounds almost depressing, but that is just perspective. You can ask a hundred people in a matter of minutes, as long as you are not overly sensitive to rejection.

I personally love to eat salmon. Salmon gave a relatively normal level of fecundity, and generously, maybe one in a thousand fertilized salmon eggs that is laid will turn into an adult salmon. Imagine if you asked 1,000 people to hang out - you'd have more friends than you could deal with!

From the ADDitide magazine:" RSD: Meaning & Impact on ADHD Adults

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short—failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations.

Dysphoria is Greek for “difficult to bear.” It’s not that people with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) are wimps, or weak; it’s that the emotional response hurts them much more than it does people without the condition. No one likes to be rejected, criticized or fail. For people with RSD, these universal life experiences are much more severe than for neurotypical individuals. They are unbearable, restricting, and highly impairing.

When this emotional response is internalized (and it often is for people with RSD), it can imitate a full, major mood disorder complete with suicidal ideation. additudemag.com/rejection-s...

[acoffeediva]

Hello Hello,

I understand how you feel. I look at my mom and see her having a full social life. She goes to the gym almost everyday. Has a few friends. They go to lunch. They do activities. I see myself with no one now as i've lost everyone over the years. Some friends just to time as people grow apart over the years.

You aren't a loser. I'm trying to find friends now, if I find a way I will definitely share. I feel extremely alone too. I've been googling groups and meet ups. I don't know where to go or start.

[Waterfun]

I have felt this way also. But I have watched people who have a lot of friends and they often reach out to people. I know that I don’t often do this. Life can change in an instant. That means that it can also get better. Please know that someone cares about you. If I knew you in person I would befriend you. You could always volunteer and make friends that way.