I hope someone out there can help me, I'm at my wits end!
Ive been flaring for around 10days now, docs put me on steriods 5 days ago which helped with the usual aches pains etc. I'm now left very depressed and having suicidal thoughts. I don't feel like myself at all. I don't want to do anything, see no purpose in life. All I've done for 2 days is cry and sleep. Doc came out - I'm already on antidepressants - he suggested rest and then to see a phychatrist.
Have any of you experienced this before? Please help if you can I'm desperate for answers. Thank you
Written by
BetsieBoo
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Oh huni, that sounds awful! Do you have family around y ou! A partner? I know that life and lupus can throw us curve balls but please dnt contemplate suicide. Where do you live? U need support! X
pls pls dont even think like that - ur life is so precious - like mandie says do you have a friend who can keep you company - are you fit to get out of the house ang go somewhere that there is people around you or even if you can get out for 5mins in frsh air even if its raining - feel the rain on your face and think yea im alive
i know its hard but it will pass - it always does but do try and get out
I have had clinical depression and Lupus depression is different because, though it can be severe, in my experience anyway, it disappears with the flare.
I have a great GP and told her recently that a few days before when I was mid-flare I was so low I just didn't want to be around any more (I almost called the Samaritans) and she understood.
Believe it will go because it will, and remember how good you feel when it has.
(Oh, and please keep posting and keep in touch with people who totally understand how you're feeling..good and bad)
Thank you for your kind replies. It's not my conscious thoughts that are making me feel this way - the doc explained its depression which he said is a recognised medical condition. It's so hard to explain to anyone how low I am feeling. I don't have many friends, lupus had seen them off as in the past I have cancelled so many arrangements. I have 3 grown up children who do the best they can to understand and a partner who doesn't understand at all! I'm not well enough to go out I'm just sleeping or crying and feeling anxious and stressed about everything. I've been 'low' before with a flare but never this bad. It's horrible.
I suffer from depression too. I often have suicidal thoughts although I don't actually want to die cos I want to be with my husband and kids...I just want the suffering to end and it won't! It feels like a heavy weight in my chest and somedays it's heavier than others. I find that going for a short walk into nature, like a wood or anywhere there's trees or water seems to help lift me out of this for a while and I can appreciate being alive. Sometimes when in a flare it's hard to get out and walk, but if I can I make myself do it as I know it helps. I have called the samaritans a couple of times too and they are great. Please keep writing and being in touch with us, we are here to share your load. You are not alone xx
Hi. I'm suffering with depression at the mo and really bad panic attacks. It is scarey but you are not alone. I can understand that sometimes you don't want to do anything cause I've had a day like that today. Sorry this is not much good advice. Hope you feel better soon xx
Hi bestieboo, i have. Felt really low now for 5 months since my sore back started i just dont feel my self and i wake in a bad mood every day its horrible, i also have had sudical thoughts i used hate bein alone it got that bad, i just wish they had answers about my back, hope u feel better soon x
YOU ARE NOT ALONE....please remember that! I have suffered from both clinical depression & lupus/APS related depression for over 20yrs now. I went into crisis and had a complete breakdown back in 2005 and was referred to psychiatrist....best thing that ever happened! I was given a place at local day service for 6 weeks which really helped me with talking therapies and group work (finding out that there are many people who have exactly same thoughts and fears) and I now have a named CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) who visits me at home and is always at the end of phone if I have need. I also joined a couple of MIND groups and have found them to be a great support and still have very good friends I met there - they may not have the same medical conditions as me but they understand my depression and that's what counts.
So please try and get some help and find someone to talk to...even if it is Samaritans at first (they too were great and suggested the MIND groups to me) you are not alone..........keep in touch on here and you will soon find what a caring and supportive bunch we all are
Thank you. I simpy feel like I am going mad. Now to top it all my partner of two years has walked out because of some things I said when I felt suicidal.
You're not going mad at all, you're having a perfectly acceptable reaction to a flare and the joyous (NOT) nature of steroids. I too lost my long term partner when I went into crisis, which did make things worse initially but with the help of professionals, medication, my family and a couple of loyal friends I came back from the depths of despair and I have since found a new partner who accepts me as I am with all my issues up front and out in the open. I know there is nothing I can say to take away the pain and sadness you feel at the moment, but try to hang on, try to talk to someone, share your burden and please, please, please accept the offer of a psychiatric referral........small steps......it may not seem like it now but there will be an end to the way you're feeling . Love & Hugs xxxxx
Hi, You have been so honest with how you feel and it is often so hard to reach out to people and say that you are struggling. I remember acting completely out of character and having an argument in the high street with my adult daughter when I was on a steroid injection - and my guess is that you are probably in despair with the flare up and the impact of the steroids has worsened this. Please try to be gentler with yourself and not blame yourself for the way you feel at the moment. Please prioritise your own needs at the moment with regards to seeking emotional support/medical advice. Then you will be in a much better position to talk to your family and tell them the impact this is having on you both emotionally and physically. People on this site will be really 'rooting' for you to pull through and I hope you will find the strength to do this. Take Care Marion x
hi i am often like that tearfull cry for no reason and deprested .just befoure i av a flare up as well but quite tearfull most off time i am already on antidepreshion tab cos thay say that lupus causes u 2 av the depresion ,it all about the lupus as i have learnt that my self ,nobody seems 2 understand how u fel and how frustrating it is ,all u can do is rest and sleep as much as possible i and hope u start 2 feel better in next couple of day ,xxxx
A little known fact that can help immensely with depression is a high dose of the vitamin B's. I am not saying it is the cure all, but it is a simple cheap aid to all the rest of the drugs etc. It is the feel good factor that your body gets from the sun. You may find it helps. I have definitely felt less depressed since adding to my diet.
Still have episodes of frustration and tearfulness, but not so hopeless over all.
Having said that, when I had a break down, the psychiatric profession was fabulous! I would definitely get some help if it is offered.
Yes I can be up for long time but I always come crashing down I'm male so I think it would be worse for females with there cycle etc chin up regardless always smile on the outside even if your crying inside all the best
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Can anybody define a flare up !!
pruritus with flare ups? 
Weight gain with severe flare up?
