Warning, this is probably WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION but it's a serious issue for me right now.
Dating. RIGHT??? Wow, I'm so out of practice, it's scary. I'm stumbling about in the dating world after (mumble-mumble) years of being single, and it's taking its toll, but I've actually met Someone Rather Nice, and now a whole new set of issues is cropping up, namely of when to have The Talk.
We're both pretty candid people with wicked senses of humour and he's already aware I struggle with walking, but he doesn't really know the full extent of my issues, and I'm wondering if I'm being disingenuous or whether too much information would scare him off. I'm actually sitting here laid up and trying to fight off pain after our first date which involved entirely too much walking on my part. Nowadays I'm getting assessed to rent a powerchair with Motability as walking is very much off the cards, and I've explained it to my date, who takes everything in stride in a way that makes me wonder if he's actually from the planet. Aren't people supposed to run a mile away from a crip as they're 'too much responsibility/too dependent'? At least that's been my experience. That he hasn't react like a deer in headlights at my having to beg off the second date for a day or two as I'm trying to recover from a wildly optimistic amount of walking is surprising, but now I'm starting to worry.
I rather like the guy and I suspect if things Go That Way (wink wink nudge nudge) I'm not entirely certain how to work The Talk into the conversation - it's not exactly sexy to have to explain that my post-coital bliss may involve a lot of pain and the need to take copious amounts of opiates. Forgive my bluntness, but how exactly am I going to strip down and be ever so blasé about the presence of my continence pads? (yeah, sorry, but you see the dilemma here). What if the bed is one of those bachelor-beds that sags in the middle with springs that hits every single pressure point in my body? Or how about the fact I really kind of need to kick people out of my bed so I can sleep on my own because of the night sweats, painsomnia, or sometimes just waking up in so much pain all I can do is cry until it eases up?
Wow, I remember when this used to be so easy, but back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth (approximately the last time I had a relationship, I think), I wasn't this ill. Now I have no idea what to say or do or how to approach things. I don't want to dwell on my illness, but it's kind of the elephant in the room. And, let's face it, I may be ill, but I also sort of want a shag sometime before I'm 80.
The struggle is real. *sigh*