Dating with lupus - is it possible?: Since... - LUPUS UK

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Dating with lupus - is it possible?

imkeener profile image
12 Replies

Since diagnosed with lupus, I'm very tired and hopeless to think about love. But I begin to fall in love with a new colleague in my office recently . He also knows I've lupus and has a crush on me . I become happier and feel more energetic when thinking about him. However, I'm wondering whether I can have dating someone and think about future. Actually, I don't want to be a burden to someone. Who can give me advice? I greatly appriciate your help!

12 Replies
emma2462 profile image
emma2462

Living with lupus may feel like you’re living a double life, especially when you engage with someone. That's why you don't want to be a burden to someone. But if he loves and respects you, this can become motivation which helps you deal with this disease. However, love sometimes has several unhappy moments that cause stress and trigger your disease. So, you must focus on the combination of meds and stable, pain-free lives. As long as you control and balance your relationship and overall health, it's possible for dating

imkeener profile image
imkeener in reply to emma2462

thanks for your useful tips, I'm wondering whether I should accept his love

emma2462 profile image
emma2462 in reply to imkeener

don't panic, you deserve to be loved. Though lupus may cause a little trouble while dating, if he loves and respects you, both still have a happy relationship. It's also important to avoid triggers of lupus flare ups. Should eat more nutrient diet, make lifestyle changes and take supplements to boost the immune system. Since making my lifestyle changes and taking Lupufree and vitamin D3, my overall health gets better. Wish you have a happy love.

imkeener profile image
imkeener in reply to emma2462

thank you emma2462

Penguintaz profile image
Penguintaz

Always be honest with him and yourself!

Sometimes you will be too tired or sore to go out for a date, you may want to avoid sunny days and need to bundle up loads when it's cold. Mention that you are on medication, get blood tests and see a specialist. These all obviously affect your mood and add stress to life- which can be stressful enough.

I am currently happily with my boyfriend and we have been dating for over a year, he has seen me at some of my lower points and some of the highs, I'm always open about how I'm feeling and ask the same of him. You can definitely date and not be a burden, a relationship can lift you up but if the relationship does more harm then good you have to be honest with yourself and maybe stay single.

imkeener profile image
imkeener in reply to Penguintaz

thank you so much, Penguintaz. I'm happy to know your story. You make me have more belief in love

Paul_Howard profile image
Paul_HowardPartner

Hi imkeener ,

We have an article about lupus and relationships on our website which includes lots of advice and personal stories from other people with lupus. You may be interested in reading it - lupusuk.org.uk/lupus-and-re...

Kevin53 profile image
Kevin53

My daughter has Lupus and is very happy after marrying her boyfriend in 2015. The son in law is happy too!

imkeener profile image
imkeener in reply to Kevin53

Congratulation! Happy to hear your good news

panda2 profile image
panda2

I don't know how I'd have dealt with all that is involved with connective tissue disease without my husband. Love has particular healing properties.

imkeener profile image
imkeener

thanks to your reply, I've more belief in love....your husband is great

3fingeredjake profile image
3fingeredjake

After being alone for nigh on a year, my Daughter nagged me to have a look at online dating...… I got talking to a lovely lady and decided that I had to meet her! That's when she told me she had Lupus... I had heard of it, but didn't know about it, so I started reading up about that awful disease, even so, my desire to meet was greater, and I am glad I did, we are now a pair, and I will be there for her anytime she needs me.

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