In the late 1990s I had a series of life events that involved bereavement, business & financial and marital issues which ended up with me taking Prozac for a few months whilst I got my act back together. I can only vaguely remember the 2 years whilst I was 'down' and before I started treatment, but I often refer to it as my 'minor nervous breakdown'. I was able to continue working but I was generally 'pretty f**ked up'.
I'm now a bit worried that I'm heading back there again. The last few years have been very hard (in no particular order!! ) - aging and illness in close family, business difficulties (like the rest of the world) , close friends moving away, a couple of my cats have die din the last 2 years, failed fertility treatments, debt issues. I'm also carrying a lot of responsibility for my partner who suffers from anxiety and depression (that also makes it difficult for me to share my worries because it makes hers worse). There have been good things as well, I should add!
Anyway - I'm finding it hard to get motivated, have quite a few aches and pains, irritability, I feel down a lot, waste time online, get weepy and tearful easily, sleep well but am constantly tired / apathetic / lethargic. Physically reasonable health - bp is a bit high but I'm taking medication and a couple of years ago I had thyroid problems, but they were fixed and my most recent blood tests show all is well. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I'm a regular Church goer, and have afew hobbies that I really don't pursue. I have managed to get a few things done - a little ebook completed and submitted to Amazon, for example - but this is definitely not the me I'm used to. This morning I sat and cried for 5 minutes for no good reason.
So...am I depressed or do I just need to man-up, or is it both?