Hi, I just created an account because I need to talk to somebody, really I think anyone could do as long as it’s a stranger. I think that most of you can understand (well I hope at least). You don’t even have to read it I just needed to write it somewhere. I’m 16 and I never felt like I belonged here. I just can’t seem to be able to think like other people. I just don’t understand most things, I wonder about stupids things like why is a fork called a fork and after that I think about the meaning of life. I live more in my head than in reality, it just always felt more like home to me. Because of all my weirdness I have trouble communicating with others. I think that I am scared of other people because there aren’t predictable, I don’t know what they think, how they will react to what I’d say and that scares me. Is that normal? I mean I guess not but whatever. Since 2 or 3 years I have been trying real hard to act like other people but I’m just getting tired and I don’t see the point of living anymore because I don’t fit anywhere. I always hated everything (myself included) since I can remember. I now see myself as a monster, I must be some sort of psychopath. My mother might have a cancer (not really deadly) it would be located in the mouth and the first thing I did and though after looking for the symptoms of it (problems to speak and stuff like that) is smiling and telling myself that I finally won’t have to support her annoying me every day now. Who thinks like that?!? She ain’t even a real bad person but yet here I am hoping she gets a cancer and maybe hoping she dies? I never felt sad about death, not in the real life, but I can cry when it’s a fictional character. I know I am crazy but I don’t even feel so bad about it. That is what makes me feel bad. So my question is, what am I? And does someone like me gets to live? What I am supposed to do with my life? Thanks and sorry for those who wasted their times reading.