Forced to have abortion: I'm almost crying as... - Above & Beyond

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Forced to have abortion


I'm almost crying as I am writing this. A month ago my employer fired me 2 days after letting them know I was expecting. Since then I looked frantically for a job but till this moment there is simply nothing out there in my field. There are however a few jobs in night shifts which require lifting capability and being able to stand up all night. I think it would be unreasonable to expect a pregnant woman can do that. I already have a child and I'm slowly running out of money. I'm getting close to 11 weeks of pregnancy, or 12( I do not really know how many). My partner has a small income which is not enough to cover rent, food, bills etc so I feel if I am not going for abortion and not taking up the night shifts we will end up homeless. My pregnancy will become visible soon and how can I take care of 2 kids when I hardly care for 1?

My pregnancy was unexpected. I was already on birth control and still it failed.

My mental health has not been great( understandable why). I feel adoption is not an option as there are soooo many kids already waiting to be adopted and I wouldn't wish on a child to go through the pain of feeling abandoned. And even if I keep this child how am I going to pay for the childcare in the future? I feel it's a heartbreaking decision I need to make because I would love to have a child, but I cannot endanger my other kid and risk having him or both of them placed in foster care and all that.

11 Replies

elenam,what country do you live in?

many countries have laws that make it an offence to sack a woman because she is pregnant

elenam in reply to Gambit62


elenam in reply to elenam

It is offence but I have to take them to court and pay the lawyers and all that. It would be too much on me.

Gambit62 in reply to elenam

elenam - I would suggest that you contact citizen's advice.

The rules around tribunal costs have, I think, changed recently, and in any case you would only have to pay if your case was dismissed - which sounds unlikely.

I know it is difficult but if people don't speak up when things like this happen, the employers start to get away with things that they shouldn't.

citizen's advice will also be able to provide you with support on identifying all the allowances you should be entitled to.

I would also encourage you to speak to your GP/midwife, though I guess you may already be in regular contact with them. An abortion is a long way from an easy option and they should make sure that you get access to the right support services in terms of having support in making the right decision for you. Citizen's advice may also be able to advice you, eg on what to ask for, or being able to identify local resources that could support you.

elenam in reply to Gambit62

Thank you. I will try everything that is possible/affordable.

This is illegal in the UK so have a look at the link below. Contact Acas too and/or a free half hour legal advice via a solicitor, many do this. There is no harm finding out about it as it might be much easier than you think. Prevent other women suffering this. You would get compensation too which would greatly help with bills.

elenam in reply to hypercat54

Thank you. Hopefully this nightmare will not happen to other women. At least for that I should try doing something.


Adoption is best option - I have son in residential care - he is autistic and the carers 2-4 look after him really well, the social services do a great job

I am so glad you wrote in to unload this burden. Feeling stuck at a crossroads of what to do is scary and overwhelming. Your circumstances might look bleak right now as they stare you in the face, but there is always hope for a better tomorrow. We get frightened when we can't see ahead into the future and feel our sense of control drifting away from us. I understand.

I hope you are able to get some support to help you think through your decision that will impact your life short term and long term, until you know in your heart you are making the right decision, and have a peace about it.

Abortion is never the answer sweetheart - the grief it will stay with you forever and leave traumatic guilt and emptiness in your soul.

I would like to encourage you to call 855-382-5433 so you can hear a loving and kind voice at the other end who will listen to your concerns and steer you in the right direction.

I hope you are able to find the courage to call. Please do not be afraid to reach out for help.

And please remember, we can continue this conversation if you'd like, I am here for you. And I promise to be praying for you.

elenam in reply to LadyO4

LadyO4, since yesterday I am bleeding and I am not sure I the baby is still with me. I went to hospital and will have a scan in few days. I hope all is well. I have no idea how this horror will end. I applied for another job but my prospective employer wrote to my ex employer and aparently my ex boss felt like slandering my name, so the prospective employer is put off to hire me. I tried to call prospective employer to tell them things are not the way they appear and reality is very much different than what my ex boss says it is. I feel like taking my ex boss to court for destroying my life and possibly causing me such an amount of stress that I dont even know if my baby is still alive or not.

I was about to suggest you find the Brittish equivalent, but apparently the Brits invented it! Find a Crisis Pregnancy Center near you.

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