Proactive (update)

[Daylightsaving]

So, a little while ago I posted about wanting to be more proactive in my life after years of sidelining my own needs (a consequence of my early life circumstances). Then I received news that a family member (in law) was terminally ill but received some great support from this forum which helped me to stick to my path. So yesterday, I was hoping for a nice quiet new year's day after a lovely celebration with my youngest son and one of his oldest friends but I had to change my plans.

We received news, on the morning of New Year's Day, that my mother in law, who has always kept an emotional and physical distance from me and my family, including her own son, had been taken to hospital as an emergency following a fall at home. We had visited the day before, one of my husbands occasional visits, when she seemed to be in good spirits. As we were the only family available, my husband decided to go to the hospital to be with her while she waited and, wanting to support him, went along too. However, remembering my goal of prioritising my own needs, I packed snacks as I knew it would be a long wait. I could have stayed home as I was quite tired after staying up later than usual on NYE but knew how hard it would be for my husband, so wanted to be there for him. I know it's a small thing but having those snacks with me gave us the energy to get through a difficult day and evening and taking the time to prepare them felt amazing. In the past I would have dropped everything and gone with no thought for my own wellbeing. I'm so proud of my small victory 🙂

[gettingsomewhere]

Well done Daylightsaving! It sounds like an important step towards looking after your own needs. It's difficult trying to get that balance right faced with competing demands but you managed it in a way that didn't compromise your own wellbeing. I trust your mother in law is OK?

[Daylightsaving in reply to gettingsomewhere]

Thanks, GS, she's quite poorly actually, they found she has quite severe pneumonia but she's getting the treatment she needs now so we're hoping for a good recovery.

[gettingsomewhere in reply to Daylightsaving]

I hope your mil recovers soon. I'm working on similar issues to you and I really like the way you posted about your success as a way of recognising this. Inspiring! Thank you!

[Daylightsaving in reply to gettingsomewhere]

💕

[Dolphin14 Moderator]

Daylightsaving

Wonderful! You did it. What you did was take control of what you could in a situation that was completely out of your control.

Taking time to think about yourself and your needs shows your determination.

You should be proud and being able to write those words about yourself is a big step

I'm very sorry your MIL isnt doing well. This is a very difficult situation.

Thinking of you and your family

❤️🐬

[Mamamichl]

you should be proud! Self care is a must. You can’t fill someone else’s cup with an empty container.