Nauseous, dizzy and alone. Need help

[No_Longer_Human]

Nauseous and dizzy. Again. Still alone. Mom said they're coming back on Wednesday but idk. I should have gone to my friend's house yesterday - i would dodge mom going crazy yesterday and giving me nightmares today, wouldn't be alone now and panicking and sis would come back as i wouldn't be here. But how could I know mom would arrive yesterday and make scenes? How could I know i would feel unwell and panicing today? I thought i overcame it. It would have been a lot of travelling and I preferred to go when im feeling better and when they're at home. I thought i would be happy alone but I feel like my brain is melting - panic, pain and nausea. I wonder is it because im alone or missing mom or because of yesterday's event

[Dolphin14 Moderator]

NLH

Sometimes it's hard to figure out what exactly causes our symptoms. We also never know how we are going to react to things on any given day.

I think life would be so much easier to manage if we could have the time to assess each choice and each situation . Unfortunately there is not always time for that.

I hope you can find some peace in your day

❤️🐬

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Dolphin14]

I really needed to hear that. Im really overthinking what choice to make and I'm wondering why im unwell without mom since she's bad for my mental health

[Dolphin14 Moderator in reply to No_Longer_Human]

It's a very difficult spot to be in. Our inner child wants to be loved by our dysfunctional family.

Coming to terms with the division is not easy at all

I'm very sorry for your struggles.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Dolphin14]

Pure truth

[Mamamichl]

it’s probably because of the event. I’ve scanned a couple of your posts and read your bio. My mom is psycho too. I had to write a letter to stop all contact. I have been also blocking emails and phone calls from her. My neutral parties let me know when she’s doing things, which send me into panic attacks.

Because of the triggers, I called the cops. They said to call every time she gives me unwanted contacts, even if it is through the neutral party. This will help if I need to get a personal protection order. The contacts don’t have to be physically unsafe. They can be mentally unsafe as well. If she’s at your place causing a scene, don’t hesitate to call cops. I tried moving and not sharing my address, but somehow it’s google-able. I would either go to a friends house or have them hang at your place. The witness of these events are helpful. The anxiety my mom causes makes me nauseous too. Being alone is not the best idea either. It’s good to have someone distract you from it. Also, if you have insurance, look into official DBT clinics. It has been helping me immensely (as well as meds).

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Mamamichl]

Im so sorry. The thing is that im financially dependent on my mom. Also im too depressed to manage my home and she comes to see if I've cleaned. And i can't find even a normal clinic and what comes to a DBT one. In my country mental hospitals are like horror movies. If i vet out alive, i will be infected with bacteria and traumatized. I need help to step on my legs and take my life

[Mamamichl in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I hated being financially dependent on my ex that was also abusive. Is there any chance you can become financially independent? Does your government have any help to get you on your feet?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Mamamichl]

They refuse to give it to me. Also they don't care an internship should pay me 1380 but the boss said she would pay me nothing or 500 mqx

[Mamamichl in reply to No_Longer_Human]

That’s horrible!