I need help

[giverofcare]

My partner has extreme anxiety and ptsd and I could have never imagined the toll it takes on us both. I feel so alone and like I can never express anything that’s going on with me because my partner instantly becomes defensive and unreasonable, compassionless and... I just feel completely alone. I’m trying to hold it all together - financially, responsibility-wise, emotionally and mentally but I’m exhausted. I could use any advice. I’m so close to this being all I can take.

[hurtingheart1]

Soo sorry your goin through this I can relate to sone of what you said! Wish I had more advice for you- but know that you are not alone and hope & pray for things to get better for you & your loved 1!!🌻💞 Also I’m sure they are very grateful and love you even if they can’t or don’t always express it to you!!

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi giverofcare,

Welcome to the community.

Being a carer is such a huge role but it is also a huge responsibility.

I have been on both sides.

I think his anxiety might make it more difficult for him to be able to support you to support him. Every thing you do, including taking care for yourself, is so that you can be there for him. If he understands it this way, maybe he will be able to give you time for yourself.

It is important to have something outside of dealing with his condition, some activities and things that have nothing to do with it and you can recharge.

Do you have someone trusted who can support you just to have a chat?

I think having friends around helps us immensely to feel less alone.

You are doing such a very important job by caring for him. I know it isn't easy..

Please take some time for self care to prevent burn out, even moments of having a bath/shower, reading or meeting with friends. Whatever it is, you need it to recharge.

Being around people might be beneficial to you both, if they are not judgemental. Spending some time out might be fun.

Maybe playing some games together.

We are here to talk if you want to share.

Lots of support and hope...

[giverofcare in reply to Nathalie99]

Thank you SO much. You are absolutely right. My partner doesn’t have many people to talk to so sometimes I feel guilty leaving or talking to my own friends. But I know that’s not my fault and there’s nothing wrong with talking to a trusted friend. Thank you so much again. Everything you said is so helpful.

[Hidden]

I have PTSD, you can talk to me. I know you must be exhausted, but I must tell you, you are a wonderful person to him, most people don’t have anyone to be there for the, I don’t. ❤️

[giverofcare in reply to Hidden]

I’m sorry you don’t have someone to be there for you. That must be awful. Thank you so much for your kind words. I try to remind myself that it is and will continue to get better. Step by step. Trying to stay present. Thank you so much again your message really helps ❤️

[Hidden in reply to giverofcare]

Try to have happy times with him, go have fun. Show him always your love for him. That will gradually take him back where he was before. Oh also if he wants to talk about it,please let him, he need to get it out. If he has nightmares gently touch him, say your are here for him, hold him. I wish someone would do that for me. If you ever need to talk , I am here for you❤️Sorry, Misspelled words, nightmares last night, you take care yourself too.

[giverofcare in reply to Hidden]

You are amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your insights. Thank you thank you thank you.

[Hidden in reply to giverofcare]

You very welcome, anytime write me❤️

[giverofcare in reply to Hidden]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️