Healthy Mind?

[Melody717]

After 7 years of abuse, I can no longer accept that people want to help me. I shut everybody out and said that they ruined me even though I ruined myself. Anyway to stop this?

[AussieNeil Moderator]

Hi Melody and welcome to our community,

While what you've shared is sadly understandably common, given that's what people come to expect after being subjected to long term abuse, I couldn't find as much mention of it in previous posts as I expected, so I hope your post encourages further discussion. I did find this post which expresses similar to what you've stated, but it was from 5 years ago. healthunlocked.com/healmypt... Unfortunately the person who posted this subsequently left our community.

While you are waiting for further replies, check out or Topics section for what members have shared with regard to Coping Strategies, Recovery Tips, Therapy Experiences, etc. You'll find the topics section below this post on a smartphone or tablet and to the right of this post on a desktop/laptop.

Neil

[Swilly97]

Hi Melody. I'm sorry that you're struggling. I do understand though and, you're not alone.

Huggggggggg

[Melody717 in reply to Swilly97]

Thank you very much!

[1949liz]

Hi, I I can assure you that you are not alone we victims try to hide the bruises, the violence that the abuser that the abuser has done to us, and this can go on for many years, but there comes a time when we reach the end of the road. Please remember that there is so much support out there, but you have to reach out and ask for help. I have been asked so many times why it took me so long to leave him. I do not have an answer for that, but I do know that when you do leave him. You can start a new life? It will take time because you have to heal and healing for everyone is different. I am having counselling because I need it yet is still difficult to understand why I put up with it for so long. Please understand that we are here to help. I send you hugs and blessings from the fellow victim. God bless, Lizxx🙏⭐️

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi Melody,

Welcome...

It is really hard to trust people and feel like we can rely on others after a long time of abuse.

It is a defence mechanism as a way of protecting ourselves.

Sometimes it feels safer to rely only on myself.

I think it is possible by finding trusted people. Relying on your intuition and finding a safe person, then very slowly letting them into your life.

Things are complex, you say you ruined yourself but the abuse might have had an impact...even if on subconscious level.

I am very sorry you were abused for 7 years...

[Midori in reply to Nathalie99]

We are here for you. it's a pain to get to the state where you feel you can no longer trust folk, but we have been there, so we do understand.

Cheers, Midori

[Nothing_but_books]

Hi Melody. Seven years of abuse. I'm so sorry. You learned not to trust in that time. I know you were protecting yourself.

Opening yourself to accepting some people may want to help takes learning who those people are. Let yourself go slowly. Someone betrayed your trust before. Take your own time finding people you want to let in.

[Melody717 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thank you