Not sure what therapy route to take.

[LeeChin17]

Hi all,

I'm struggling to work out what type of therapy in need, so i was wondering if any body else has been in a similar situation and how they decided the right path.

When i was 13 my sister was murdered, i then joined the army at 16 and went to Afghanistan at 19.

I dont remember much from 13 to 16, i can only assume that i have blocked out those years.

Anyway fast forward to now, i'm a very fit and healthy 36 year old but i've started getting chest pains (I've been checked out, and i'm fine).

However i cant help but think subconsciously this is my bodies way of saying 'I have unresolved issues' that i seem to have blocked out for a large portion of my life and i now need to address them.

My issue is, I get dont suffer mentally, i dont have anxiety, i dont have any triggers, so i really dont know where to start.

I can only think that my coping mechanism from such a young ages has buried the feelings very deep with in me that i cant see them.

Ive tried talking about my experiences but i cant seem to unearth anything, my mind just kind of says 'It is what it is', but my gut feeling is telling me that its time to sort it.

Would any one have any suggestions on how to start, or where to start looking for some help?

Thanks for reading.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi LeeChin17,

Welcome to the community.

I am very sorry about terrible traumatic death of your sister. You were very young and it would have been a lot to deal with.

I feel that if the symptoms are not disrupting life too much then this means you have more time to look into things.

In a way, the brain tries to protect us when trauma happens and this could be in many different ways.

Sometimes there aren't any mental health symptoms but instead physical symptoms.

Other times the memories might be more difficult to get to. I think it is a protective mechanism for when it is too much to handle at once.

It would be important to decide about therapy. Personally I am not sure if remembering is such a good thing. Maybe it is possible to recover without remembering the details of trauma? And if so, wouldn't it be a safer idea?

My personal choice was somatic experiencing. I didn't have to remember or talk about the details.

It still brought things up unfortunately but they were already stirred up so it didn't make things worse.

I tried CBT and it made my PTSD worse. It's a personal choice.

My PTSD wasn't based on thoughts.

There are other options for trauma therapy and gentle approaches with lots of grounding techniques. This would be my recommendation.

[LeeChin17 in reply to Nathalie99]

Thank you, I did look at CBT initially but didnt real feel like it would be for me.

I guess i'm not trying to remember, im just aware that somewhere is telling me that i need to address this trauma, so reaching out to find options.

Im getting physical symptons that seem to be in my head (if that makes sense)

I'll look into somatic experiencing as i prefer alternative therapies.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to LeeChin17]

It totally makes sense with physical symptoms. Trauma gets stored in the body.

I think you are doing the right thing trying to address this.

Finding the right therapist might take time and going through a few appointments to find the right fit.

I think it really makes a difference and I hope you find the right person.

Each of us is individual in how we process or respond.

I hope the physical symptoms are manageable in the meantime.

[bowJim]

Hi Leechin,

A good question to post, as I am sure there is not necessarily a definitive answer, my experience is similar to yourself, like I knew I had early issues and I had felt I have a split mind, like I could react to situations and later felt guilty for my actions not necessary happy with how I handled things.

I had the same quandary, where do you start? it is my opinion based on others I know and my own experience that one type of therapy does not fit all, so don't be put off if the first choice does not suit you, ( I had this experience yet it may have not been the therapy more the therapist themselves) my opinion is that we all have different personalities and we click better with some than others, try or ask for another therapist if you like the therapy. This was pointed out to me by a therapist.

The thing I would 100% say is therapy does work, extremely well, yet to get the best from therapy you need to be honest, honest with yourself and honest with your therapist.

Your comments regarding coping, triggers can be well practiced and hidden, after all you got this far, so your mind is pretty accomplished at this fake lifestyle, well that's my story anyhow.

I started with a basic first line talking therapy CBT cognitive behavior therapy is readily available in the UK, (I see your comment below regarding this, well I felt the same, yet it may give you an inclination as to where to go from here), charity organizations, such as Mind and the like offer this free, the NHS in england have a waiting list based on your risk, they will risk score you based on your risk to yourself or others, not sure if this fits with other countries.

At this point you may start to see some signs of what has been holding you back, in simple terms your subconscious mind, things that happened in your life, especially childhood will be on your hard drive and will automatically instantaneously kick in before you have time to stop, until you start to uncover what these are.

Once I had a look at the basic CBT, from here I opted for psychotherapy, yet because I had a similar feeling like you say you have coped and can see nothing to the cause, I opted for RTT, this involved hypnotherapy and psychotherapy, the lady who discovered this is Marissa peers, you can find detail on Youtube,

I opted for RTT as I was fearful It would take time to release the stuff I had hidden and once in a dream like state, I would have no way of stopping what was being asked under hypnosis, well it worked - best thing I ever done, wished I had done it years before because after this, it flooded out all the hurt, the issues in my subconsciousness how my childhood experiences led me or affected the way I think, for here on I had more independent psychotherapy and at this stage the psychotherapist used his professional knowledge to use what he felt was the best methods, to be honest it was great, simple, yet extremely powerful.

one other thing is until this time in my life I had never had a mental health assessment, yet visited the GP and never offered, here again once the psychotherapist carried out the initial assessment it revealed, truama, high anxiety and depression, I was pleased to get this info as now I new what was happening and what to do. Here again, when you read or are asked the questions, if you have any doubt as to the question as you may be putting the brave or dismissive face on, answer the question yes if you have ever had any inclination to the question being asked.

Good luck,