The trauma of dad's baby ruined my mental health, life and chances of getting a job

[Against_the_current]

I'm still on the way of hte interview. Boiling hot. Insane anxiety and agoraphobia. When i told them i have a trauma with babies they drastically changed and probably won't hire me. They thanked me for being honest. I called granma cause she was calling like rcazy and she said "why did u tell them?!". As If it's my fault i'm traumatized. Their son traumatized the hell out of me and they're asking me to work and he said he' s giving me a whole salary. 2 years ago my add had s** and now i can't work, can't live, can't communicate. And nobody understands. Nobody's gonna erhabilitate me. Nobody's gonna pay me as disabled. They don't hire me as disabled but nobody's gonna pay me as disabled and tolerate me as disabled.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

You might qualify for disability on mental health ground but I don't know if it's something that is possible in your country.

I am very sorry that the trauma you went through makes it so very hard to find employment.

Maybe having a job that has no triggers for you, would be a better choice.

I know it's easier to go for the first available job but it needs to be sustainable/doable.

Last thing you need is more triggers...

Maybe there are positions that would be something you like and less triggering...

[Against_the_current in reply to Nathalie99]

I don't think my country can qualify me. And i don't know If i'm able to work at all

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Against_the_current]

I am very sorry...

[Against_the_current in reply to Nathalie99]

I can't stop crying

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Against_the_current]

I wish I could ease your pain... crying can help release some of the emotions.

Sending my support xx

[Against_the_current in reply to Nathalie99]

Thanks. I stopped crying but i feel like i'm dying

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

all this is a shock riht now.....takes time....to adjust to realizatios....adjusting not easy however...i have faith...that there is an area....that i can find a way to contribute........ive done it all....worked four jobs through school.....slept in bathroom in my residency.......not easy ......i clean stalls stack wood, restrooms to anyting i can get my hands on ...i must be an hustler and opportuist....i have no choice.....push myselr and read to develop skills, work for ohers as goofer and watch and learn the trades or whateer......all work is honorable.. bagging groeries stockintg washingt cars....raking up stuff, cleaned houses .........we do waht we have to do.......no one here looks downtheir noses at me ....

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, it's probably just schick. Thanks

[Hidden in reply to Nathalie99]

well v well said...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

the world we deal iwth and ur world....yep pretty messed up

our brains want to make sense of it

therein lays part of he problem....

all

of

us

support u feel for u....til we process......

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Yeah i'm still struggling to proceed

[Hidden]

i was dropped from ER vet med as i cant take the hours....my surg team and all the hours we logged...poof and so forthe...i have to find areas i can be honest and cant do...it is immoral not to lie but lie abour an area that might impact a life....so that person...whether anyone understands answers to a higher plane than law, society and family who may or may not understand...i must accept certain chnges and lmiiation nad ifn dwhat i can do ...to survive .....i cant cause a patient harm no matter how accidntal ..im not taking that risk...i dont care who gets tit.....i wont....and im not caring or paniked by anyone who dosnt uneratrnd ..i must face my maker first.

[Hidden]

u did the moral thing telling someone u dont want to be around babies...they just are wanting to try to find u an area to succeed....blow it off ...talking past each other....

main thing is for me to develop strategies for me to survive....now....how do i do that.....think about that everyday....i use the library and network daily hustling for jobs.....im tired at age 65 working 12 hours in the heat, my hands are raw and and...

each day a stepping stone looking for solutions and wathint and lookint for better job better life....buy clothes at thrift storres, talk to churchses who help peope with skills and get expernce and find jobs...people respect anuone lookng for work whatever level....

i hav plenty of disablities.....i do ? im 25 and ill work anyone into the ground.......disaglities my ass....i do any job and show anyone im the harest worker there is......takes me more time to learn new jobs new obosses.....ya so what..........ya so and so may not like me ....tough chees....ya dad and mom may.......im out looking for jobs proving them wrong.......i have bad experenced over here doenst ruin me....ill be damned if im lettig that exeireenecd rule my life..my inspiraton are he the real disabled ...lose a leg......

see u at work at 8

in a wheelchair......see u at work at 7 what wheelchair

so henry has nithtmares.......we will find him work as work is self worth....he isnt going to let cancer beat him.....shauna isnt going to let her boyfriend win.......shes going to work.....her independdence and the respect ..of all her friends......

i have trauma i this area, art5iicial knees aane aned

i will find work.........i will find...what i can do......im not lettingt that rule mylife.....

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

They refused to have me.... My soul breaks

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

rejection or non acceptance can be hurtuful to crushing...dont let them win....we work for our success which helps our respect...success is the best revenge ...they dont want me fine...i will work to find a place where i can be useful and earn heir respect.......family is usually the last to give respect..go elsewhere......family is the touhest nut to crack.....i moved aay long ago as nothing i ever did was good enough....their loss and im not wasting my precious time trying to get their approval whidh they never will.......ok to cry to feel loss then move on....dont let the smucks win or defeat us....so u dont likebabies ..so u didnt get a job......just the start of life ....thousands opportuities out there......i ..have to chase the brass ring....its not comng to me..(no reference to u) ....find soemting i want and work hard at it....u earn respect when peole see us woork so hard at what we want..........i hustle jobs every day.....rejection isnt...just part of life....frustrating sure....be everyone here....will know ur trying......thats what counts...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

i worked for thiry years to get paintings in a gallery in the US......i think about all rhe singer and others working tables to get a break...or chefs working in kitchens to work rheir way up...helps keep me going....its not personal.....if i dont hire u its not personal so dont take it that way......maybe i had only two slots.....dont alke things peronally......my family has zero of my painigs in rthei house sin thirty years.......yep....i have to grit my teeth and press on....its a bitch its unfair it sucks yep...keep going ...hey arnt my family .

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Against_the_current]

Oh no...I am so very sorry, Real Me. I am really sad...

It hurts so much.

You have qualities, skills, talents. I just want you to remember those experiences where you were proud of yourself for how well you did things and enjoyed them.

I know right now it probably doesn't feel like that but you are still very valuable and good at things, just need an opportunity. Need someone to be open enough to see this in you and give you a chance to grow.

[Against_the_current in reply to Nathalie99]

Thank you so much Nathalie. I really need this right now because they didn't accept me for the job. They didn't even call. I called them and asked and they said im not accepted because of my trauma. Hurts so much. Feels like i'm broken and i can't do anything, i'm worthless. What will i work? And dad, grandparents and so are asking. What am i supposed to tell them? 😭

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Against_the_current]

I understand and can relate but it isn't right...trauma doesn’t make us worthless, less smart etc. It just means that we need to watch out for stress, overload, triggers. Look after ourselves more.

Trauma can happen to anyone.

I understand that this is a terrible way people judge but I disagree. Some of the best most capable people have a history of trauma. They have better understanding, more empathy and attention to details, for example.

[Against_the_current in reply to Nathalie99]

Right. And yet i'm discriminated because of it and nobody understands i need to be careful and easy on myself. Family are like "You need to work" and employers are "You aren't able to work". And yet nobody cares i got quialities because of my trauma, they just need someone average, normal and boring

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Against_the_current]

It's terrible, Real Me, that you are unable to get an understanding from your family.

It is really hard to explain to others who don't know how it's like and the way they see the world, they way they feel is different.

It is really triggering as the family is supposed to be the support net but isn't always the case for many different reasons and it is very tough to build things up on your own, with a disability, without the deep understanding, sense of safety and support...

Some families just aren't supportive and it is tough moving forward.

I hear you about needing someone average, need to keep a lot to ourselves in a workplace unfortunately.

[Against_the_current in reply to Nathalie99]

Thank you for your words, understanding and compassionate. My family really isn't giving me these things and i'm grateful you're

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

listen natalie...i respect ur feelings...i truly do....but it comes out too forcefully and i want to applaud u for being honest..such as i wont work with foals....but im 65 ....and much easier for me to be a cranky old sob and say no.....

u listen to natalie...i trust her judgemt and and ...know

everyone here.......feels for u.......is in ur corner....whether we say it right or not.....its true...

plse listen to natalie...so thankful she and other are there

i hope i did not insult u.....ur n very very diff situa5ion..she wil take u all he wayh.

take care

[Hidden in reply to Against_the_current]

i start to get super protedtive the more i hear and i lose my tact and start gettng mad not at u but the situaion ...i want to make sure ur ok and...

u must understand its not disapproveal of u......its super proretive functrion i cant control......tc

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

I appreciate it

[Hidden]

u did the moral thing...we go where we are suited...and we have to stand alone sometimes....for rhe well being of ohers....i practiced vet med in certain areas.....moral decsions..my family blab on and on and on........i can face my maker ...anytime....what my family thinks is not important.

[Against_the_current in reply to Hidden]

Right 🙌

[Hidden]

music.youtube.com/watch?v=K...(Not working as expected?)

judieth dunhams- song- one of rthe world s most beautufil women oinmh mind....never bother rhe poor woman of course but hearing her voice makesme feel better...same with her /the groups I am Austrialia...helps me.....i share it but.....ir u dont care for it totally fine...im secure ane jsut sharintg bread and water ....fellowship....but no expectatons..u listen and work wi5th natalle....she take u all rhe way...

tc

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, Brig, for the music.

Everyone's choice is different of course but I like your playlists, I like a variety of things and you have great songs and artists in those that you shared with me.

(I like trance music but that's not a popular choice)

Thank you for your support to Real Me trying to confort her through this. Much appreciated...