Anybody else have extreme PTSD from their last relationship?

[XanKelly]

It's been a year and I still have not been able to date or have sex or make any romantic contact with a man. I'm 24 and I just see abusers in all men I see. It feels like yesterday I was being abused and I am still not healed from it. I'm just grateful that it's over. When will I feel better? When will I trust that there is good in this world again?

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

****trigger warning****”

I have Ptsd from my last relationship, that was compounded by the fact I already had ptsd from my childhood and beyond. . Although I’m much older than you, that relationship of mine, was 34 years long and I finished it when I found out my partner was himself a sexual predator.

I went through a lot of horrendous feelings, I had had two daughters with this man and built what I thought would be a lifelong journey with him.

I also supported a grand daughter through from laying charges against him to going to support her in court, by then I had made him remove himself from my home and my families life.

Healing is possible and I want to hold that candle for you.

I made a decision to continue to live the rest of my life as a single woman but you are still young and I hope you are able to find someone caring and kind that will love you and gently help you heal.

Sending support.

[XanKelly in reply to Lindyloo53]

Thank you for your story

[Gr8ful]

Oh sweet XanKelly—Yes, I know exactly how you are feeling. My story is very complex and spans over years of my life. I was about your age when it started. Be thankful that the relationship ended. Allow your heart the space and time to heal. Take dating off the menu for awhile, explore the reasons why you feel so guarded, learn from your last relationship of what doesn’t work for you, find safety and confidence within yourself, set boundaries (something I never learned), I’ll say it again, set boundaries. Knowing yourself and your self worth is the key to finding trust again. I can’t say it enough, as trite as it may sound—how different my life could of turned out if I had been given that advice. You are so worthy of love, of feeling safe and secure. Live YOUR life, follow your dreams and if a guy comes along—do not change a thing—if he’s true and if he’s worthy he will show up and meet you where you are—if you still have doubts, look inside yourself and ask why. Trust your gut. I honestly believe that you can heal and trust again, you will. But get to know yourself, live your life, find joy and fulfillment outside of a romantic relationship, it’s ok to not be ready. When you start living your best life—this is where boundaries are so important because people will be attracted to you, people gravitate towards the light. You’re still healing, exhale and allow time and self exploration to guide you. Once you learn to trust yourself, have proper boundaries—you’ll see your heart will feel safe once again. I believe in you.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi XanKelly,

One relationship in the past triggered my childhood trauma and some other ones and caused severe PTSD symptoms.

The circumstances of it and how it completely changed my entire life, including moving country, were probably what triggered this and I lost my sense of self.

On a rational level I thought I was going to be okay, I was independent and had a lot of plans, going well, but some of the aspects of the relationship and my entire life changing, brought PTSD suddenly, from one day to another.

I think that trauma therapy helped me a lot in finding way forward and I am now married and in a happy relationship.

At that time I couldn't imagine moving forward so I was just surviving.

Wishing you find a new hope and help with addressing the trauma.