New here, hoping to find understanding people

[H_Naledi]

Got ptsd from hospitals, but I'm not ready to talk about what happened yet.

ASD (autism, but on the lighter end). What I say and what my facial expression/body language signals doesn't add up - making me "hard to read".

My main problems are nightmares, fatigue, insomnia, annoyance/anger (that I don't really show), shame and flashbacks from all that's happened. It doesn't get easier by the fact that I have a genetic variation that forces me to always be dependant on doctor's care and hospitals.

But what I really have learned is that there is always someone having a worse day than you. No matter how horrible I feel, it just takes watching the news to realize that my fate isn't the most painful. Pity is never constructive, self pity is always destructive.

Then again... It sure would feel good if someone else in the world said "Yeah! Me also."

[Roxylox]

I sort of have a face with little expression even though l might be bubbling with good humour or other emotions inside.

I got PTSD from a toxic workplace

[Marnie22 Volunteer]

Hi. I hope you find what you need here. I have PTSD from suffering a life changing brain injury in hospital. I also have Complex PTSD from my childhood.

This is a very supportive and friendly forum and it has been a lifeline for me. 🌼

[88cev88]

Welcome! I also have autism and PTSD. I am dependent on other people too, I live in a group home.

[Rosy_Holly]

I too have hospital PTSD. So difficult to talk about. It's as if you should not criticize Hospitals.

[H_Naledi in reply to Rosy_Holly]

Yes! It's as if "We are suffering samaritans, how dare you accuse us of incompetence and arrogance? Bow and be grateful for your ptsd (that you are faking btw)."

[Rosy_Holly in reply to H_Naledi]

Thank you for your reply. I have looked and looked for help with difficult hospital situations. I am told to ask for PALS. I say are they there to help at 10pm or during the night? The phone goes silent. I have not found an answer to alleviate my PTSD regarding visiting and or staying in hospital.

[H_Naledi in reply to Rosy_Holly]

As I don't live in the U.S.A. I don't know what PALS is. But for hospital-caused ptsd, I too am at a loss. This may sound a bit... Wrong. But please, please, please understand everyone that I don*t mean this as rejecting anyone else's trauma. But a soldier coming home from war with ptsd is still a hero, and anyone can (should!) understand why it is such a burden. The victim of a horrible crime is (should be!) understood, too.

But get ptsd from the incompetence of a hospital - and suddenly there's victim-blaiming. Who can accuse a holy doctor of doing harm?

[Agara33]

i understand what it is to be misunderstood. i, like you am hard to read and often seam exactly the opposite of how i feel. It's been that way all my life but once i needed help it became a problem and caused a lot of devastating experiences-i think its the worst part of everything i have faced-being dismissed, misunderstood, the danger i was in underestimated-it is a big part of my pain. I hospitalised myself once and they were unable to help or reach me...genesight.com/

this is something someone recently recommended to me to help with medications, though I'm not sure if this was what you were speaking of when you mentioned genetic variation.

[H_Naledi in reply to Agara33]

Gene variation affects more of ability to heal injuries and infections. But having a body language that doesn't fit the verbal seem to make people insecure, and unable to believe me. I can't remember how many times I've tried to tell dr's and nurses that I'm in So Much Pain - but I'm not believed because I don't look like it.

[Agara33 in reply to H_Naledi]

It’s the worst, it’s really terrifying…to depend on someone understanding you when your don’t have the power to make that happen…if you are able to meet with some one empathetic, compassionate and sincere and professional would it ease your distress? That is one of the things I think of for myself