Catch Up

[JDJ23To28AND1-2]

A lot has happened lately, I've gotten married, employee, and my cat died, and me and my husband moved house, I got my full Driver's License class 1... And I've Been Healed By The Lord Jesus The Christ From my wounds... And fighting Spiritually against the bad, for generally the good, for general humanity and creation... Doesn't mean I'm not tired, dizzy, or that I won't forget your name, I'm Healed Spiritually,.... But I still probably have to find a way for my brain to literally physically get better.... Still on medication as well... I think I discovered why I'm not remembering stuff a lot,... I have so many bad memories, and I don't feel safe remembering them in public or around other people or even when I'm online, or around animals... But the bad memories cover the good memories, the okay memories, any memories.... From certain times, so to be safe and keep others safe, I shut my mind up, and lock every memory away, because I haven't figured out how to mentally organize them all so as to separate the bad memories from the rest... The demons have been creating more bad memories every single day, for like, years, and they still try to to this day... I'm getting more aware of God and His Words To Me, and in This finding Strength That I didn't realize all this time, I Had... Access To... One day, when I can, I plan on making a decision: do I find a safe time and place to sort my memories out, or do I let them go, and forever forget the past (all of it, the good as well as the bad), and do I write stuff down, or no... ?? ... I plan on sorting them out so far, but letting go and making myself forget everything might end up being easier... But then there's the other question, is it really possible to let them go, or when I do, am I just suppressing, as I do now,... And should I just keep suppressing them, in the hopes that one day all the bad will rot in there and get deleted...? I guess the real question is, do I gave looking at the past again, somewhere safe, or do I just move forward only, never looking back... ?? So I look back or not... That's the question... Why would I want to look back? To write down my life story and share it with the world, I think there are bits worth sharing... Why wouldn't I ? Because there are some seriously bad memories, stuff that has previously made me want to die, and there were moments where I was crippled/immobilized mentally and physically, no mind and the body followed... And if I have those unbearable feelings fully surface, I may not be able to participate in the fast pace my life is going...

I guess I could one day find somewhere, but right now I'm not ready to check in to some mental health place or even take time off work and stop paying rent and such... Maybe when money income is more stable I will... We'll see.

I'm not looking really hard for advice ATM, I'm just putting down thoughts and sharing where I'm at. If anyone wants to say anything, that's fine, but I will be very busy these days, because of work and family and Church, and other commitments... But I will get back to you, I promise. Goodnight. And Thank you. Kia Ora...

I'll leave you with this Instagram post I kind of made using Canva.

[LonelyHeart22]

Let them go....completely. Do not look back. Remember Lot's wife? There's a reason God told her to not look back. It will do you no good to keep going over bad memories. It will lead to nowhere productive for you. Im glad to hear that you are a Christian I am too, I backslide for awhile but Im back now! Jesus is amazing and He is watching over you. Oh and your kitty, you will see your kitty again, he/she is in heaven waiting for you. But Im sorry for your losses. Im glad to hear that you have church and commitments because the BEST way to get over the bad memories and STOP looking back is to build yourself a good life NOW and look forward to the future. Focus on FUTURE not PAST. In order to get RID of the OLD, you have to REPLACE it with something new. SO just focus on building your life right now, take up hobbies, etc and focus on the FUTURE. What Im saying is that in your situation there is only ONE way to GO and that is FORWARD.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Thank you for sharing the good news, congratulations, JD...

I think when you are in a good place, it is better to take this opportunity to focus on life and let those things behind. The timing of things in my opinion is important.

You have so much positive going on and it makes sense to focus on that.

I like your quote, so true...

Take care and wishing you lots of happiness and fullfillment...

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

Kia Ora.

He pai kua kitea e koe te whakaora na roto i te hononga wairua, he tangata no taatau whakapono maha kei konei i hono atu ki o ratau ake wairua kua kitea he rongoa mo te whakaora i a raatau mahi. Kia ora koe me to haerenga.

Arohanui

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to Lindyloo53]

Translation:

Hello.

Well you have found healing through spiritual connection, people of our many faiths here who have connected with their own souls have found a cure for healing in their works. Good luck with your journey.

Arohanui