Hello!

[MountainMama2]

Hi everyone! I just started listening to 'Heal Your PTSD' and this forum was suggested. I'm pretty well on the road to healing, but can't shake lingering fear some days. I have been in CBT therapy a year and a half, only going once every few months now, and I'm about to finish up EMDR in a couple weeks. I'm happy with how far I've come - I have made SO much progress. However, I am frustrated and just want to be "better" and back to myself. I'd love your insight on what to focus on this last leg of healing. Thank you!

[wallflower_fairy Major Contributor]

Welcome to the community! 😊 You've come to the right place. Thankyou so much for sharing your recovery so far.

Xx

[MountainMama2 in reply to wallflower_fairy]

Thank you!

[Lindyloo53 Volunteer]

Hi MauntainMama2 and welcome to the forum. We are all at diffent stages on our healing journey here.We encourage members to share in this forum how things are what they have leaned and to support one another.

I’m having EMDR therapy and am finding that is very useful in my healing. I have, like you, come a long way. I don’t know if there is a finishing line but I’m far closer to that than I am to the beginning of my journey.

I’m sure you know that with EMDR the brain continues to process stuff between sessions. Even when we are asleep the brain is at work processing memory.

What I like about EMDR is it doesn’t require me to talk a lot about the traumas. I simply focus on the worst part of a memory Nd we go from there. Sometimes it takes me all over the place as I’m sure you’re aware with one memory hooking into another.

It has propelled me forward much more than all the talk therapy I have had.

I wish you well on your recovery journey.

[MountainMama2 in reply to Lindyloo53]

Thank you.

I love the idea of a finish line, and remembering that this is a journey. I've been reminded time and again that I didn't get where I was overnight, and healing will not happen overnight either. I'm just so impatient. I'm tired of feeling like this. It's a good reminder to focus on where I'm at now and where I was and that progress IS being made. Good luck to you as you continue on!

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi MountainMama2,

Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing your healing with us. It gives light and hope to those who are at the beginning of their healing process.

I think that things can take time after the therapy. I am wondering if perhaps there is some adjustment process.

I think that just keeping practicing your grounding tools and finding enjoyable things to do can eventually create deeper sense of peace and recovery.

Fear is a familiar state and it might take a while to change things on a deeper level.

Wishing you continued and deep healing...

[MountainMama2 in reply to Nathalie99]

Fear is so familiar. I feel like it's just my bodies automatic state. It's not constant anymore and for that I am thankful. It's just that sometimes I get snapped back into it and I'm rudely reminded of those feelings. Knowing that I am capable of not being fearful is something I need to focus on, instead of focusing on the times I am fearful. Thank you!

[designguy]

Hello MM2, congratulations on your journey and progress - good for you.

One of the last but probably most important parts of my healing journey was the realization that life is an inside job not an outside job and that our most important relationship in life is the one with our selves.

I think the majority of us with c-ptsd have been raised with little or no compassion or self-love for ourselves. What has helped me on different levels is practicing mindfulness or meditation for its ability to reduce anxiety and also to get in touch and cultivate compassion and love for myself. I personally prefer mindfulness verses meditation because for me it is less structured and formal.

I suggest a book like "Mindful Compassion: how the science of compassion can help you understand your emotions, live in the present and connect deeply with others" by Paul Gilbert. Also any books or teachings by Tich Nhat Hanh and another good book is "There is nothing wrong with you" by Cheri Huber.

[MountainMama2 in reply to designguy]

This really speaks to me. I was 100% raised this way. My life was terror sprinkled with love occassionally. I had no self-compassion or love. Only shame. It's the opposite now and I know I have done so much work. It's the days that the fear creeps back in that I'm just like WHY?! I still focus on the negative. That is a shift I have to make and it needs to be a conscious effort every day. I feel like life gets so busy (I'm a college student, also homeschooling two kids, and volunteering two places) I forget to do what needs done. I do mindfullness meditation daily, as well as yoga. I just started journaling, too. I appreciate the book suggestions, as I love reading!

[MountainMama2 in reply to designguy]

I immediately downloaded several books by Tich Nhat Hanh. So many spoke to me. Started listening a little bit ago and just in awe. Tears running down my face (in a good way). Thank you so very much for the suggestion.

[designguy in reply to MountainMama2]

You're very welcome, glad I could help. Sounds like you are doing good - yeah!

[freeandalive1 Volunteer]

Everyone heals differently! Some fully, some no so much. I believe full healing is totally possible, for me, it has been a revelation. I see the "scars" that were inflicted upon my life, however, I do not feel the pain from them as deeply and in some cases not at all because I have been able to put certain wounds behind me for real.

All of this happened over time...Some wounds are like 3rd-degree burns....it takes a lot of care to heal them...and some are less painful and are able to be treated on the surface and heal quickly. They all needed attention and care, just in different ways.

Good for you in your progress! If PTSD ever throws you another curveball in your future, you know how to handle it and who to go to for help!

Thanks for sharing your success and embrace the freedom!

[MountainMama2 in reply to freeandalive1]

Oooh, I love this analogy. Some scars are deeper and need more time. I just want to snap my fingers and have them heal already! But, it can't be rushed. Just like if you rip off a scab, the wound will bleed again. Or, if you aren't taking care of it, it could get infected. Nurture and soothe. Thank you!

[MountainMama2]

I read so many success stories of people fully healing, so it does give me hope!