Hello

[username16]

Hello,

I'm new here. I'm trying to get over the anger/hurt/loss/triggers due to a family member's actions and vendetta. Any suggestions?

Thank you.

[WaitingGame10]

Welcome to the community username. I hope you find it as beneficial as I do.

For me - having a narcissistic mother who created havoc - I found the best thing was to cut contact with her so she could no longer damage me. Then I could begin to recover. It's not an easy thing to do though but I was very fortunate in having support from my immediate family who could see what was going on.

Wishing you all the best with this.

[username16 in reply to WaitingGame10]

Thank you for replying. In my case it's a sister. I think the thing I'm struggling most with is how she was able to turn family members against me with the lies she told.

[WaitingGame10 in reply to username16]

Hi I'm sorry to read of your difficulties. I hope you are able to find ways to protect yourself. I understand about lies spread within the family - it's very upsetting.

[Dolphin14 Moderator]

Welcome username16

I've experienced the same things you have with your family. I'm very sorry you have gone through this also.

I stepped back from relationships with certain family members. Some I cut ties with and some I had very strict boundaries with.

Now, after years of therapy, I am able to step back from more situations that are unhealthy for me. I realize my peace is priority.

This is a wonderful l, safe community. Many of us have gone through what you are going through.

We are here for you

🐬

[1949liz in reply to Dolphin14]

Hello my name is Liz, and I have suffered a brain injury and many other injuries, when someone is ill, you would think that the family would pull together and help another member of the family. unfortunately this does not happen or if it does, it has rarely rare. From my experience, I have found friends who have supported me during my stressful times., never complaining, only encouraging, this site that you have joined, you will get an amazing amount of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, and more importantly, people who empathise with you. It is so important to have a positive feedback, I know. please feel free to write how you are feeling and I am sure someone more than someone will reply to you with some positive positive feedback. take care God bless you love Liz adorable doggy Shelly🙏🌹

[username16 in reply to 1949liz]

Thank you for replying. I don't know what it's like to have a TBI, but am glad you have friends to support you. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone here.

[Dolphin14 Moderator in reply to 1949liz]

Liz

I'm glad you have friends that support you. I think it's assumed family is the " go to" but it's not always that way.

Like you, I have wonderful friends that will support me without hurting me emotionally.

Your dog is so sweet

🐬

[username16 in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for replying. I was in therapy off and on throughout my life, but didn't realize the underlying need for it was due to the gaslighting...until a few years ago when my sister went on a vendetta against me because she knew I knew she wasn't stable and took over caring for my mother.

[Dolphin14 Moderator in reply to username16]

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

I'm glad you were able to discover the core of your issues. I truly believe we can make great progress if we can dig deep into the root. None of this is easy but if we know who we are we can begin to move forward and start healing.

🐬

[Midori]

Welcome to the Community!

Like many of us, we have had trauma in our lives, mine was an abusive husband, who lost his job, and me and the kids too. This was a long time ago 33 years, but it still comes back occasionally.

This is a good place to vent, with mainly understanding folk. We get the odd troll, but Admin sorts them out if we report it.

Pull up a chair and chat, rant, or whatever.

Cheers, Midori

[username16 in reply to Midori]

Thank you for replying. I'm glad you were able to get out of the abusive situation.

I appreciate having a place to vent. I'm hoping that this group will be a positive type of discussion. I'm not interested in negativity, but sometimes feel like venting about things I need advice about.

[Midori]

Go for it, it's what we come here to help with,

Cheers, Midori