I did too much

[Terrifiedbravery]

I took on tooo much over the last few weeks. Invited an abuse victim/friend and her kids into my home, paid someone's bail bond that was all of my rent/bills money for this month. I set myself up for a really difficult and debilitating month. I'm just mostly kind of sadly disappointed in myself for letting my world get so out of control when it's hard enough as it is.

The friend went back to her abuser the first day I left to take a break from watching her kids while she slept all day... he broke her phone and she has been mia for days. And the other friend who I spent all my rent and bill money on is not able to pay me back so things have gotten really difficult for me having a business and and a home that I cannot pay bills/keep up with.

I just keep trying to breath and do some thing, one thing at a time but it's just so hard. I can't even go to the bank to get a form notarized or pick my kid up from school without seriously pacing and prepping myself aka not getting anything in my life taken care of, for hours.

I want to fix everything and I want to leave everything alone to chill and get my head back. It's just so hard for me to notice when I'm taking on too much sometimes because I want to erase everyone's fears. It's so projecty and the opposite of my goals. It has been a very emotionally taxing and financially burdensome leason.. god willing or universe willing-- things start to balance out soon. Please put out prayers or positivity for me. I need all I can get. Thanks healers

[Hidden]

Hi you need to sit down and breathe!! Then make a list of the things that needed paid this month and then contact the people that needed paid and tell them you have no money due to circumstances beyond your control can you pay a little extra in the next few months to catch up! Next contact your friend who owes you the money and see how much they can afford to give you back at the moment and set up a plan with them to pay you back. Next time when someone says they have no money don’t dive in to your own rent and bill money and leave yourself in a mess. Say sorry your short yourself this month and can’t help. I think you have to start thinking of yourself before others or people will start taking a loan of you. It’s great that you want to help people but you must put yourself and your child first. I am sending you hugs and hope your anxiety calms down so you can get things done. 😊🌻🐾🐾xxx

[Terrifiedbravery in reply to Hidden]

I'm an attorney and won't bill my clients bc I deal with No self worth issues. So I have even more going on than the bills and the disaster of a house I was left with. It's just a teeny baby step by baby step and praying the universe will send me courage and a new client or two every day. It's just going to have to get better. It just has to

[Agara33 in reply to Terrifiedbravery]

it seams like its just so natural for you to want to help, like if you see people in need its almsot involontary. would it help if you set up a sort of safe zone for yourself? a space where you only let in those of your friends that you know for sure are safe and will not disturb your peace in and no one else for a period that would help you get back to your rythm-apart from work related things and necessary interactions.

when you are one of those who have a tendency to help others before self its really hard not to do it, but necessary at times.