What would some one who loves themselves do?

This little video really changed my life and started my healing journey. It's not for everyone but maybe some one out there will find the same hope here I did.

youtu.be/zQHv75ahYDQ(Not working as expected?)

[SavingGrace Administrator]

I like this; Teal speaks very clearly and in such simple, straightforward ways. Much appreciated. Thanks @littletraveller xxxxx

[Hidden in reply to SavingGrace]

Your welcome CatsM! I think I should probably have put a disclaimer on this one.... while I love this video I do think that online gurus must be taken with a grain of salt. Like I said to ChilliDawg though, sometimes the message comes through even if the teacher is flawed.

[peacefulandcalm Encourager in reply to Hidden]

yes, that is what I got from it. I liked some things she said. I liked what she said about the stream, best is to go in direction of downstream, intuition leads in direction of flowing, non resistance, feels good. Some things she said I liked, were helpful.

Also think people are enlightened to varying degrees. Some are perhaps more enlightened , and it is on a continuum I think. Mother Teresa, Thich Nahn Hahn, Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King Jr., Jesus/God, Buddha are some of the highly enlightened teachers I like. of course God, the divine etc. --of a 'perfect' nature, more than we can ever comprehend or understand.

I like the expression I heard in Al- anon, a long time ago. Take what you like and leave the rest, this has stuck with me many years later, so I like to try to do that.

[Hidden in reply to peacefulandcalm]

Yes exactly!

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Interesting perspective.

I think that child abuse survivors struggle more with the concept of self love, not being taught that and often the opposite, so this is already quite a challenge.

I agree about the intuition. I believe it is our survival instinct, the life force. It is very difficult to know when it's the intuition and when it's fear talking. I have been taught to doubt my intuition. But I had strong intuition and learned to listen to it. Then something happened, I thought I had listened to my intuition and this led to events that destroyed my life. Since then I am working on rebuilding my self trust and to make sense of that chaos afterwards.

[Hidden in reply to Nathalie99]

Yes I think the idea of self-love is such a luxury to us and we don't think we deserve it. That's why it's so hard to consider ourselves in the moment before anyone else. If I was taught anything by this video, it was to put my needs first for a change. When you pour love into yourself then you can more authentically help others than when there is no gas in the tank!

[Nathalie99 Partner]

I know, Chilli.

It's been years for me but I really find that intuition important and it has something to do with trusting myself.

I believe it's linked to a survival instict and I wouldn't be here if I didn't listen to it.

In my case it's often fear and sometimes fear is distorting reality. I thought I was afraid of heights but turns out I am not...I believed in something that wasn't true, it was dictated by fear. Now I'm trying to navigate through this, especially difficult after nightmares (I didn't have them for a while, that's a good sign). I really would like to learn not to doubt my intuition. Maybe will try to do some meditation to have more clear mind....

I appreciate your insight on this.

[Hidden]

I just awoke from a really lovely nap, and feel almost myself again thanks for everyone's support on my insomniac post. Amazing difference.

Anyway to your point ChilliDawg I totally agree, Teal Swan is probably not authentic as a guru and is steeped in controversy . I would caution anyone to think twice before committing to her particular brand of enlightenment. BUT regardless after I watched this video is when my life started to change.

Although the teacher may be flawed, sometimes the message comes through anyway.

I will check out your Awakeynwithjp, thanks for the recommendation!!

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

I like this post, I am going to try the question. I am going to look up Awaken Within JP. Very interesting discussion. It really is just the subject I need right now, so thank you.

Intuition, decisions, finding our right path for us through intuition and decisions. Just what I need to be working on so thank you.

I am exhausted, so I am going to ask myself, 'what would a person who loved themselves do right now? rest was the answer.

[Hidden in reply to peacefulandcalm]

I'm glad you listened to yourself peaceful and calm!!! That makes me happy.

[peacefulandcalm Encourager in reply to Hidden]

ok, my experience in doing this is that I find myself saying I don't know what a person who loved themselves would do! Like ok, my couch hurts my neck. I got it at a thrift store four years ago, cheap.

I have a credit of 230 at Sam Levitz. There is a couch there that is longer and would not crimp my neck like this one does, but it does not have good lower back support.

But I could get cushions for that, and since it is longer, laying on it and watching tv would be better on my neck which needs help, my neck is very hurt due to years of PTSD, and has some big issues that I need to work on to help it.

The cheapest couch on clearance there is 299. Anyway, I have to spend the credit I have there one way or another. The couch is not perfect but it may be fantastic to have for the next year watching tv and not hurting my neck like this one. ok, see, now I get confused.

And it would provide a good place for anyone who needs a place to sleep, not like this one that is not long enough.

see, decisions are very difficult for me. I may have to cough up some extra to get it and it is not perfect, but may be a lot better for my neck and to have for others. on and on and on. This is how I go through decisions. Gruelling.

any advice? insights? I want to be able to make decisions more easily and do what feels right, and what a person who loves themselves would do however I find I don't know that answer it seems at times.

[Hidden in reply to peacefulandcalm]

Let me be clear- this is not the "one answer to everything" but I find it is a really helpful mantra to remind ourselves to consider our own needs, since we trauma survivors tend to forget them being trained to take care of everyone else.

Just a thought peacefulandcalm, it sounds like you ARE listening to yourself and I know it's hard to actually make the final decision and buy the couch but as you said you have the credit that is just sitting there and you have to spend it at some stage. And what could be better than treating yourself to a comfy couch to lie on that wouldn't hurt your neck! I would say go for it. But don't listen to me, listen to what you really want

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Thank you for sharing your insight, Chilli.

I know what you mean about dreams, that's true to me as well. There is a reason. Often I find them less scary after I realise what's it all about. They do offer insight. I know exactly why I had my first nightmare in such a long time today.

I like the idea of walking in safe places. I think I have some here.

Interesting perspective about fear and intuition. I will think about it some more...

[Nathalie99 Partner]

What's Zenland?

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

I like that metaphor, and what you said, brain burps can be taken lightly. Well I am having one and it is lasting some time, but it is just a brain burp, will go away soon.

[Hidden in reply to peacefulandcalm]

I like that metaphor too. Thoughts drive me absolutely nuts. That's why I like the spiritual stuff because it preaches "detachment" and approaching in a different way, letting things be and not overthinking them. Like what you said in your post about laying down our burdens. That really helped me

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

Such a difficult time for me recognizing that quiet voice, intuition, and really having conviction in following it each time, but I know it is there and I know when I hear it is after being in quiet nature. Having meditated a long time.

I need to be in nature and silence to hear this quiet voice, and it has been plenty difficult the last few years to get to the mountain. It is cooling down now.

now when you say loud and quiet, how does that feel for you? I understand, just wondering. Loud feels like pinballs for me screeching all over. Quiet drifts into my awareness, when I am very still, with a quiet mind, like a wind, kind of just appears like an angel or a sun ray, or something, a gentle thought.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Thanks

[Hidden]

Have to say, AwakenwithJP is absolutely hilarious. I am watching the gluten intolerant video... this guy is a hoot

[GeminiDancer Major Contributor]

Thanks Littletraveller! I found this helpful and an interesting take on "a short cut to enlightenment."

I'm going to go give it a try if I can remember and challenge myself to do it consistently. I tend to forget all this stuff during all the individual moments of stress...right when I need to remember to do it the most!

[Hidden in reply to GeminiDancer]

Lol i know what you mean! When I'm in the line of fire I can never remember all the best advice I have been given. But with this, even if I just remember on occasion, I find it helpful to remind myself oh guess what, I am entitled to meet my own needs!

Some people don't need this prompting as they have been taught by their caregivers how to love themselves and treat themselves well. I think us trauma survivors often need to learn how to reparent ourselves and try to give ourselves the love we are missing.

[GeminiDancer Major Contributor in reply to Hidden]

Yes; absolutely. Learning to reparent myself has been very challenging but so vitally necessary.

[peacefulandcalm Encourager]

that guy made me laugh