Ptsd and death

[lostgirl75]

I don’t know if it’s my ptsd or social anxiety but since my dad died infront of me from his esphogus rupturing I don’t sleep hardly talk and don’t want to be around anyone. I cry daily from missing my dad still it’s been three weeks how long does the grieving take? Will the hole in my chest ever feel recovered? Will I get my voice back?

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi lostgirl75,

I lost loved ones to traumatic circumstances and together with grief it is harder.

You will need counseling for complicated grief as well as processing the traumatic aspect of this.

I'm terribly sorry for your loss...

It can cause PTSD losing you Dad like that. You need to talk to therapist and try to just let the emotions out.

It helps me to talk to someone after something shocking.

Being around people who cam support you might help a lot.

I am very sorry...my heart goes out to you.....

[lostgirl75 in reply to Nathalie99]

Thank you I did go for grief counceling but it frustrated me. I kept getting mad my regular PTSD kicked in and so it wasn’t helpful. But time is helping. I still have nightmares and miss him more than ever but I think I have a better grasp on things now.

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to lostgirl75]

I am sorry that it brought PTSD back, Lostgirl.

I get it as mine went worse after I lost someone close a few years ago. I managed because of support I received from my loved ones and friends but it is very tough. I'm getting nightmares about it occasionally (there were traumatic circumstances).

I think eventually I am going to process it in therapy but at the time it was too raw so I needed time.

Sending support...

[lostgirl75 in reply to Nathalie99]

I’m the same time deffinately helped but his passing has made my ptsd worse because I held him as he suddenly died from bleeding to death internally. It came from no where one day we were planning a trip to Niagara Falls the next he was gone. It does help to talk about him but I still cry when I do most of the time. My original PTSD is from military work and a military spouse who was abusive verbally and mentally. It took me three years to escape the hell. But now I have a wonderful spouse who is so understanding and supportive. I find biking helps we have harleys and that’s how I let out my anger or frustrations I ride and scream no one can hear me and it’s so freeing lol but I find winter hard I think I need a snowmobile or something so I can let out my frustrations.Thank you for listening

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to lostgirl75]

I am so glad you have a wonderful spouse now, Lostgirl.It is very courageous that you escaped abuse. I understand it takes time.

Lovely to hear about your hobby. I can imagine how freeing it is to just ride...

I like water, swimming and boats.

Snow mobile sounds fun. I used to live in a country with a lot of snow and ice but never tried one of these.

[lostgirl75 in reply to Nathalie99]

Our goal is to sell our houses and move to the country so I can have more dogs and they can run free. But we’d really like to move to Georgia but with covid I can’t see that happening.

With my medical problems it’s hard to do much

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to lostgirl75]

Yes, medical issues can limit what we can do but it's your dream and it might be feasible right now but it still can come true...

[SavingGrace Administrator]

I'm so sorry to hear of your dad's passing and how you witnessed this, must be a terrible burden to bear. I can not imagine your pain, but only send you blessings and hope that you will find strength in time again after your loss.

Sincere sympathies xxx

[Beingindependent Volunteer]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your father and that you experienced witnessing what he went through.

Of course you are experiencing so much.

It’s only been a short time since this happened.

I know you don’t want to be with others right now. I’m so glad you are sharing with us.

I think that you need to allow yourself to grieve your loss, what happened but I hope you can look for what heals you.

Going for walks even if it’s in your home/backyard. Writing in a journal, creating art, coloring you need a way to express how you feel. I hope you’re drinking a lot of water because crying can be very dehydrating.

If you want to write a letter and send it so perhaps your friends can communicate to you or even to others in your home or write a letter to yourself and express to yourself how you feel.

Let us know how you’re doing. Take care.

[Hidden]

Hi lostgirl sorry about your dad. I can relate to your grief and tell you it takes time from losing such a close relative. Three weeks is such a short time. Take each day as it comes don’t rush anything. I lost my faithful collie and then my sister four weeks later. I found her dead on her bedroom floor, she had been ill with cancer and we had an argument the night before as she wasn’t trying to help herself. She died before we could make up.😢 The hole in your chest again will take time, it has been 15 months for me I still miss them both like crazy and some days Mr PTSD jumps in and I’m a mess. When you can’t breathe and your chest hurts and you can’t stop crying stop what your doing and do some belly breathing and focus on happier times with your dad. Do this a few times during the day it does help. Or find somewhere you can scream at the top of your voice, I have done this and it does help. Yes you will get your voice back. Look at some photos talk about him, laugh at the memories and scream at the hurt. The grief will never go away and you heart will always hurt but it does diminish with time. Hugs to you 🤗🌹xxx

[Cherrytreebear Volunteer]

I’m terribly sorry for your loss and I can’t begin to imagine the pain you are dealing with. Healing from such an event may take sometime. Give yourself this time to allow yourself to process and recover from what has occurred. Again I’m terribly sorry.