perceived or real

[peacefulandcalm]

abandonment, rejection, cruelty, authority, disrespect, not respecting my boundaries. All huge triggers.

I know I have been writing up a storm. And some in states of dissociation for which I feel ashamed. Expressing the rage. Or writing too much in posts.

Going through so much with needing to move and figure it all out.

This is all scary for me, my father moving, getting older, going into independent care place. Will he be ok? Will he help me financially that I need? Will I get to talk to him and spend time connecting even if just in email? Thoughts getting away with me I guess.

Need to stay in the moment and focus on what I can do, have control over. Stay in the now. Positive people in my life.

I am going to go inwards the next few days and meditate and try to get some clarity of mind.