So, I'm new on here and I don't really know how this works yet, but i just kinda have to get whatever I'm feeling out there, yah know?
I've never been officially diagnosed with PTSD. However I've been struggling with severe bi-polar disorder for my entire life. I've experienced severe hallucinations and breaks with reality. It was very traumatic for me and I don't remember most of it or what was happening around me the few years it got really bad. I often get panic attacks when faced with something that reminds me of what I do remember. I don't really wake up screaming anymore, but I sometimes wake up crying. I'm angry all the time, but feel as though my other emotions are distant or not real. I can't handle jump scares, loud noises, or crowds without being sent into a panic. I avoid being touched by strangers, and it upsets me to an extreme level, where it didn't bother me at all before. Simple things like going out to get groceries give me anxiety. I guess my main thing and the reason I made this post is that I don't really think that my friends and family know where I'm coming from. I feel like whenever I bring anything up they just don't understand at all. Often I feel invalidated or guilty when discussing it with loved ones, like what i experienced wasn't enough to garner sympathy or that some people have had it worse or something. I just wish I could have them just understand me. It's frustrating to say in the least. Advice?