FIRST THERAPY SESSION

I was avoiding digging out my letter for date and time of first therapy session. I cannot lie I was hoping if I delay enough or hubby forgot it would pass by. Oh Crap they just text me a reminder. It's this Friday.

[Laurabee]

I can relate to fear from anticipating a therapy session. Just try to be gentle with yourself and proud that you are taking another step towards recovery

[Hidden in reply to Laurabee]

Hi Laurabee. I will and thank you.

[Laurabee in reply to Hidden]

Also don't be afraid to let the therapist know that coming in is increasing your anxiety. It's normal and really common

[Hidden in reply to Laurabee]

Good point, that's exactly what I did!

[Hidden]

You are not alone thinking like this Margot. I'm apprehensive about my next session no.2 next Monday, even though no. 1 went well after all the dread associated with attending due to the last experience. It turned out to be very helpful and a huge relief to feel understood. This time I'm keeping a diary and notes so that I can monitor my feelings as I go along, plan to post here if anything goes awry and get feedback. Wishing you all the best for Friday Margot!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You too for Monday. I intend to post how it goes. I like putting positives on here so It would be good if goes well. I usually walk in a room someone asks how I am and I go fine thank you. Ridiculous really - usually hubby goes in he was a great help at my PIP assessment. Everytime I said yes that's okay he was like NO it's not. Bless him. But I am on my own in this one. Although he does have the day off because I will not travel without him. We are also selling my beautiful Audi TT because I have not driven since September. There was a time I would have been very mardy about this but more important things to worry about now. I have been promised another when I am well and able to drive. We have to be practical in our world of ptsd can't keep two vehicles when only one person is driving.

The diary is an excellent idea Harry.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ah that must bring you a lot of sadness Margot, but needs must eh? and hopefully you'll soon get back in the driving seat!

Haha I know that one about answering "Fine thank you!" It's very different having to really talk about yourself!!!

Hopefully you'll be able to question and raise concerns with the therapist as you go along, otherwise bring here for clarification - there is such a wealth of experience here which has been incredibly beneficial, for me anyway, not knowing much about therapy.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Do you think that is why we are where we are because we don't speak easily. My GP thinks I have been managing to function with this for many years. I always had the attitude I'm a professional woman I don't need help from a stranger. Right up until I crashed and burned this time. Oh dear Margot so wrong and not that strong.

[GRUMPYA]

Hi Margot

Everyone dreads the thought of counselling, especially if you always thought it was something for other people. The advice I would giv which is the same advice I am giving my husband is not to understate things and to explain if you are emotionally illiterate. Often when we have crashed and burnt or burnt out, we have a very limited range of names for what we feel. I think at my worst all I could name any emotion was sad, angry or scared. Anything more subtle I could not name. If I listened to music I was sad. When we tried to do all the stuff about a safe place I couldn't get past my wheelchair won't go on a beach and I am trapped by the sand. So not a safe place but a sad place because it wasn't for me anymore, in fact I could not think of any place that was safe and found the "breeze blowing on my face across the beach" which was supposed to be relaxing terrifying. After a couple of sessions where my psychologist thought I was being obtuse I finally explained that I had no idea what most emotions felt like any more so couldn't tell her what I felt about anything. We agreed to just say negative or positive on some subjects. So if you are struggling with subtleties of emotions and naming what you feel explain this. Also avoid the natural tendency to lay things down.

I think lots of people do. My hubby was assessed a few weeks ago for therapy and he answered the questions on the assesment sheets and came out perfectly normal, the trouble was he was trying to rate things on the daft 1 to 5 scale and be honest, but he was probably understating it because his issues come from childhood trauma brought back by recent events so he really doesn't know whhat normal is. His normal would be a crisis for some, so now he can't cope he is in reality off the scale. Fortunately the "wellness practitioner" who did this questionaire with him was persuaded to go and ask someone qualified who looked at the referral frm and accepted him anyway.

It's a bit like all these assesments often it is about communicating in a way that the therapist understands.

You don't seem to struggle to communicate on here so I'm sure you will be fine, if you don't get on with your therapist you can change and if you don't like the way it is going you have the right to say so and discuss what treatment you have. They may start up trying to get you functioning well enough before you can have EMDR or other treatments. Sort of patch you up and fix the leaks before they start the real work, but even if you have a few sessions then have a break then re-refer for further treatment you will still start to feel better. They won't break you up ad then leave you, they may fix on bit at a time but they will not open the flood gtes and abandon you. You will be ok. You will feel bettter soon. It might not be fun but it will be worth it