Constructive Advice is welcome

[reveriemuse]

Where do I turn?

If I didn't have an incredible 16 year old son who counts on me to 'show up' for him, I'm pretty certain I would admit myself into an inpatient program. I'm so depressed and numb to begin with and it seems like my world is crumbling around me.

I'm not working right now-I'm barely functioning. I use any energy that I have to be there for my son-and actually, he's getting the bare minimum.

I rent a house from my exhusband-why did I do that?! I trusted that he would do what he could to give his son stability. The thing is, when I go into a depression, he starts threatening to sell the house, he doesn't need the money-he's loaded-just bought a $90,000 antique mandolin. He's threatening to sell the house. I have NO money, no credit, I have no money for therapy, I need dental work, I have a busted windshield. If I have to go though another move, I don't know how I'll do it: financially or emotionally.

Additionally, I have a strained relationship with one of my sisters. Her husband (and she) are literally multi-millionaires. I don't ask her for money, but she's aware of what I'm going through. She thinks my problems would disappear if I got a job so I could "dress cute and have someplace to go". She has NO idea-she hasn't had to work for 35 years.

My pdoc just added another med-this one makes 4.

I'm not sure how much longer I can do this before I totally breakdown.

Please, if you have constructive advise, I will welcome it!

I can't sleep and I've been crying for hours.

I so much want to get better!!!

[freeandalive1 Volunteer]

Dear RM,

While I don't have advice, just want you to know that my heart and my prayers go out to you…..I understand how you feel….it is like trying to swim upstream while wearing weights….I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now…..peace to you

[Hidden]

revieriemuse....wow, you are one strong woman. you got rid of a lowsy ex husband...your raising a 16 year old son as a single mom, your not willing to put on a facade by dressing up and cute and going someplace. anybody in your situation would be depressed and your honest enough to admit it, good on you lady..my only advice would to be to see yourself as a warrior right now.....