Where do I turn?
If I didn't have an incredible 16 year old son who counts on me to 'show up' for him, I'm pretty certain I would admit myself into an inpatient program. I'm so depressed and numb to begin with and it seems like my world is crumbling around me.
I'm not working right now-I'm barely functioning. I use any energy that I have to be there for my son-and actually, he's getting the bare minimum.
I rent a house from my exhusband-why did I do that?! I trusted that he would do what he could to give his son stability. The thing is, when I go into a depression, he starts threatening to sell the house, he doesn't need the money-he's loaded-just bought a $90,000 antique mandolin. He's threatening to sell the house. I have NO money, no credit, I have no money for therapy, I need dental work, I have a busted windshield. If I have to go though another move, I don't know how I'll do it: financially or emotionally.
Additionally, I have a strained relationship with one of my sisters. Her husband (and she) are literally multi-millionaires. I don't ask her for money, but she's aware of what I'm going through. She thinks my problems would disappear if I got a job so I could "dress cute and have someplace to go". She has NO idea-she hasn't had to work for 35 years.
My pdoc just added another med-this one makes 4.
I'm not sure how much longer I can do this before I totally breakdown.
Please, if you have constructive advise, I will welcome it!
I can't sleep and I've been crying for hours.
I so much want to get better!!!