Self Forgiveness

I was just journaling things that I learned this year. It is has been an emotional roller coaster year for me after losing my job and trying to figure out what to do next. I have learned a lot and have never had this kind of time to focus on myself. I can tell I have made progress, but still have murky waters to get through. I always enjoy seeing how I have grown through a process even though it can be really debilitating for me and stressful on my easy going husband.

Anyway, I have been working hard on my internal critics, self-blame/ hatred and learning to be more compassionate with myself. I was just reading a little on self forgiveness. I was wondering if others wouldn't mind sharing how they worked on this. I kind of sense it is something that continues to happen as you grow. It feels like a foreign concept to me and I am trying to get a picture of what it is.

Thanks and I hope you all have a blessed and safe New Year

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  • Hi.

    5 years ago I went through something that I was told was my fault but was not. For 5 years I took that blame on board until the guilt was almost etched on every part of my face.

    I kept writing down what happened and then slowly realised that I was not responsible. I deserve to be happy even though I don't think I should be happy and each day I am putting one foot in front of the other in an effort to move forward.

    I am getting counselling which I'd working better since I took the counsellors advice more seriously.

    It is taking time but I am working through it. Time is the key - all we can do is try and give things time.

  • Yes, I have also found time to be the key to a lot of this. Just have to remind myself it isn't aways on the time line I might like! Thanks.

  • It's constant for me......

  • Self Forgiveness has been a huge issue for me in life. For me - reading, learning I am not alone in this have been helpful. The concept of self compassion has been wonderfully helpful to me. Remembering we are perfectly imperfect... created that way... born that way. Remembering our humanness - we make mistakes in life (often over and over again) and it is ok... Some things we have intentionally done have been hurtful... some hurts/mistakes have been unintentional. Acknowledging our part I think is part of self forgiveness... and then... learning to let go of accusations, self blame, self guilt... blame and guilt we were not meant to carry forever. Self Compassion... as you would respond toward a true and dear friend... that has been a powerful powerful concept for me.

  • Yes, it has taken me a long time, but I am finally at a point that I want to give up the guilt and stop punishing myself. I began seeing that being so hard on myself is really setting me back and that others are not are ruthless with themselves.

  • Yea! :)

  • i don't know if it helps...i have forgiven a lot of folks on this journey..as i know many of them have just passed down their wounds on to me....and yes forgiven myself often..forgiveness is an ongoing part of life..and it takes time to allow the dust to settle after you forgive...so anyway a trick i use now...when those inner voices attack me....i make jokes with them.....like, seriously i don't do anything right?..or i agree with them...'your right, i completely lazy and have made no progress...i don't know if it will help you, but try letting them come out and play a bit....

  • Good way to talk back at the negative talk. Lately, I have been telling that part to stop it and tell it I am not listening to it anymore. Kind of like setting boundaries on yourself.

    Thank you!

  • way to go !

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