Choosing the workable day

[Murrday]

Basements freak me out because of some old bad memories. And our laundry room is in the basement. Some days, like yesterday, when it was gray and cold, and nobody else was around the house, I just could not get myself to go down there. And I knew it was important not to push myself. So I waited.

Today the sun is out, and one of my neighbors is home, so I was able to coax myself to go, because with those changes, it feels safer. Sometimes, I just have to pick the time I can work with. Still felt some anxiety, but kept reminding, "See? It's different today."

Noteworthy change - I did not try to guilt myself into going yesterday. It was OK to wait. I listened to how I felt, and I adapted. I can make things different and better for myself, now. And it's OK to choose a way, and a day, that works better for me. Those choices are part of taking care of myself.

A little bit more daylight makes all the difference.

[Hidden]

I think that's great to know what you need to feel better about it. Keeping tapping into that wisdom.

[Murrday in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. Some days I get it, others I don't, still, I keep holding onto to every thing I learn that works.

Any day more functional than a meltdown is ground gained.

[aujoymyjoy]

Good for you, Mday. Funny how I did that the other day. I was going to go shopping on one day and just couldn't go. Shopping in a new area, in a store I have only been to 4 times, buying groceries for someone else is maddening for me. So I didn't go. And like you I started to 'feel guilty' because I didn't go when I said I would. Guilt is such a cruel taskmaster. Seems like the energy of choice for people who are part of the 'power and control' management lifestlye.

I am glad I am learning of its potential power and choosing not to listen to it.

Way to go doing tasks when it feels safe for you! You are processing so well!

[Murrday]

Thanks! I keep at it.