Hi. not much of a talker especially about feelings but right now it's too hard. Got diagnosed with C- PTSD and attachment disorder 3 months ago. Been numb most of my life and in the last year trauma after trauma got me to a suicidal position. Sleeping or eating is difficult sometimes impossible. Taking medication, hate it but without it I would not be here. My therapist is on vacation. She sent me to an EMDR therapist with my first visit last Friday while she is still away, it was a total disaster! I had a panic attack during the process after I took a chance to answer her question about my relationship with my husband, she diagnosed him to be bi-polar. She also found out what I do for a living and wanted to come to my showroom to see my products. I felt bad that I said anything to her and not comfortable to do business with her either. She said that I was not ready for EMDR..The rest of my day was really f-up. On our wedding anniversary last Thursday, with my husband had a situation involving cops. They showed-up in my showroom, it was humiliating and I got triggered since and totally shut down. I have to work because i am the breadwinner and God it's really impossible sometimes like now.
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