am i going to crash like everyone says?

hi everyone my month well has been the worst ever i lost my mum 2weeks ago the sadest day of my life but as with life and the way it goes it has come in a wave of terrible things happeneing my mum died on the thurs and on the next day my dad and myself came down with coughs we just put it down to being at the hosp at all funny hours and grief but my dad seem to get hit a little harder , the sat i took my little chiuaus round and came back home and my littlest pia jumped out of my arms and broke her leg on the hardwood floor i was so distressed shes in plaster now:( then by monday my dad got worse and the doctor gave him strong anti biotics by weds he was looking like my mum wanted to take him too! so i took him to the hospital and thats where hes been eversince! theyve found something on his lung too( extra stress !) in between all this my brother had to go in for a leg op so i have had to arrange a funeral by myself which ive never done in my life! registering the death arranging flowers organising caterers for the wake looking after my dads house and his little bird ! making descisions i felt far too immature to make really and also calling family all over the place to keep them in the loop! i havent really stopped and people keep telling me to slow down ! or il burn out! all this time i also havent been sleeping but today i feel the pains starting to come in , the thing im worreid about is that mums funeral is on monday and because ive kept going cause ive had to whats gonna happen to me on the day? ive had a couple of crys but no one really to cuddle me and tell me il be ok cause there is no one! im not feeling woe is me please dont think this its just that because my aunties say to me ive got to watch out cause of this burnout i dont know what there talking about? i feel ok atm keeping going and keeping my emotions under raps for everyone elses sake?

10 Replies

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  • I am so sorry to hear you lost your Mum. I send you cuddles and a shoulder to cry upon . I know what it is like I was in just your position. TRY and take a breadth and enjoy spring as it starts to come in and then every year it will be a marvelous reminder - though you wont need one she will always be with you or just in the other room!

    This weekend try and relax easy to say hard to do but have a go and then you will be ready for next week. gentle hugs (((((())))))) xgins

  • Oh my fairy what a terrible terrible month. You have had . That is more than anyone without fibro would find hard to cope with..... I think with us fibromites we are strong and we carry on and cope as you have done... I think what your family are worried about is once everything has settled and you don't have to be here there and everywhere for everyone and life returns to some semblance of normal your body will come out of automatic pilot and once you relax they are worried you may go into a flare....

    It really all depends on how well your fibro is under control ... If its behaving itself you may get away with out one , but if your body has just HAD to go into coping mode then you may well flare or crash and burn as some people call it.... IF you do... Make sure you get straight to your GP and explain all that you have written here he may juggle your meds and ask if you want councelling for your grief and / or pain . Or you could ask for it... Everyone with fibro is different...

    Here's hoping life gets better for you soon and fingers crossed you don't go into a flare.. remember if you feel bad after everything has settled dont be afraid to ask for help ....

    Please let us know how you get on

    VG x

  • HI Fairytails. Can you try to take some multi vits and eat as well as you can? It's important as if you are coping with a stress overload you may very well find yoru immune system crashes after the funeral and the running around to hospitals etc. You need to start boosting it now. A big well done for taking this all in your stride at the moment. Iam sure everyone here will send you love and prayers. Try to pace yourself if you can. Drop it all off here in a blog, much better to let it out somewhere. LOOK AFTER YOURSELF.

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  • thankyou everyone for your answers and hugs to all too xxx

  • Hi Fairytails,

    Deepest sympathy for your sad loss, and I hope that you find strength to help you through this awful time. I am sure you will get through, and you won't crash because you have a strong spirit.

    Don't be afraid to ask for help. Well-wishers are all very good, but sometimes asking them to do something practical for you is the best move.

    When your dad recovers, maybe you should both look forward to a little break somewhere if you can manage it. Some peace and quiet, and an opportunity to relax might make you both feel stronger and able to carry on.

    We'll all think of you - you are not alone.

    Moffy x

  • ty moffy xx

  • I am so sorry you have just lost your mum. I lost mine a few months ago. I think that one does end up crashing after coping with doing things that need to be done but I hope you are spared that as you've been through so much already.

    Gentle hugs

    Jillyxx

  • (((Fairy))) I am so so sorry for your great loss, you have my greatest sympathy. I lost my father back in August last year and an still feeling the ramifications. I admire you for being so strong and coping with the organising of the funeral and with the problems with both your father and your brother. I think strength comes from somewhere to cope and I truly hope you manage to get through Monday and then, if your body feels its had too much, go with it, but take very great care and look after yourself. I wish I could give you the hugs you so need at the moment and I understand that feeling all too well. The only advice I really feel I can offer is to take each day at a time, try not to think too much about Monday, I know that will be hard, but if you can break things down into smaller pieces, it may help you.

    As Moffy so wisely said, please don't be afraid to ask for help, you need it now of all times. If after the funeral you feel your fibro raising its head, or even before, contact your GP and get some support from him. Most importantly allow yourself to grieve, it is natural and I would feel necessary, because bottling everything up can end up causing more harm than good.

    Sending you lots of hugs and healing thoughts. Foggy x

  • Sorry to hear about your mum, I lost mine 2 years ago and as I live in Yorkshire and she lived in Norfolk with my younger brother he had to take care of everything on his own, he also has the dreaded F as did mum, do try to take a minute for yourself if you can its how he coped a minute here and there that's what he told me anyway, I hope your dad is feeling better soon, biggest gentle hugs . Sithy

  • Hi fairytails

    Really sorry to hear about your Mum x

    Grieving is different for everyone. If this leads to a crash then it leads to a crash.....that too will pass. Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do.

    But remember too, its ok to self care. Good pacing still means making sure you have rests and eat and drink properly. If you try to keep mindful of your own needs youight even fond you're fine.

    Sending big hugs.... I hope you find someone in the midst of this to give you a real one xxx

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