feeling alone

i begin to think my family have had enough of me no one seems to care anymore i live with my husband of 27yrs and youngest daughter who is 16 life just isnt the same anymore i think my fibro /me and other conditions have started to effect our life we all go about our daily life in our own way we rarely talk let alone does anyone do much for me or ask how im doing ive been ill for over 10yrs but since the begining of this year i have really gone down hill i cant do the things i used to do we used to walk cycle swim my life had changed so much its making me so sad this silent treatment i feel i have become a real burdon on people it makes me so sad as i have always been a doer as i have four daughters all close in age ive always been there for them now im so fed up i feel as if i dont exist due to unrest and pain i sleep in the spare room i feel let down by my loved ones how can they do this to me they just seem to be wrapped up in their own lives as if i dont exist some days i wish i wasnt here anymore and woonder if anyone would notice i was gone sorry for this rant just feeling down and a litttle sorry for myself today, whats making things worse is that i have an on giong problem on top of every think else which no one nknows what it is waiting for a ct scan im in constant pain all day every day il leave this now as i dont want to get anyone down sooryonce again for waffling on but had to let it out take care all joanne x

13 Replies

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  • Hi Joanne - you are not waffling ((hug)). I am sorry you are feeling this way. Maybe your family just dont realise what they are doing? Maybe if you sat down and explained to them how you feel it might help?

    Good luck for your scan and take care of yourself xxx

  • Hi Joed :)

    It sounds like you're going through a very difficult time at the moment and things have not been great for a little while? Feeling low can enhance the symptoms of fibro which could be why you're experiencing more pain and discomfort. Feeling alone and being surrounded by family must feel awful when feeling in pain. Do your family know what types of help you would like, for example, with shopping or tidying. I composed a roster for my husband as I couldn't manage the chores anymore, maybe it is something you could discuss with them :)

    I was wondering if you had spoken to your GP about how you are currently as together you could work out the best way forwards regarding treatments and therapies. For example if you felt up to it they could possibly refer you to see a counsellor so you would have a regular appointment to look forward to whereby you could tell her all of the things that are making you feel so low and lonely?

    As a long term sufferer of anxiety and depression myself I would also like to say that if you felt like things were beginning to overwhelm you and you needed somebody to talk to straight away??? you could always ring the Samaritans, it is what they do! I have pasted you their number below. Please don't be offended by this, I have done this out of friendship for a fellow Fibromite:

    Telephone: 08457 909090

    I was also wondering if you had ever considered joining a Fibro Group and meeting like minded Fibro sufferers like yourself? it may be worth your while looking to see of therre is a group near you that can offer yoou some much needed support. I have pasted the link to Fibro directories on fibroaction.org and hope there is a group near you :)

    fibroaction-public.sharepoi...

    I wish you wellness and hope that you find the answers and support which you need to overcome this dark time. It may hurt and the fibromonsters may try to interfere but please try to remain positive :)

    Fluffie hugs and smiles for you :)

    Take care

    xxx sian :)

  • sending you a gentle hug Joanne, I cannot add anything more than sian has said.

    regards,

    hamble (( :) ))

  • thankyou for your reply i feel like i have tried every thing to be honest ive been to a local fibro group,had family meeting that end in a shouting match tried drawing up roters that dont get stuck to and end up in the bin dont want to bore you with my personal life but things have really changed in the last 9months it just hurts to feel like your nearest and dearset dont seem to care about you anymore ive always been there for them maybe i will feel abit more a ease when i have had my ct scan as at the moment i feel like whatever i have got is killing me sorry to be so negative take care joanne x

  • Hi, You aren't feeling sorry for yourself at all it does sound hard for you. I'm sure your family love you very much, family can just not realise they arent giving you the support you need because they don't know how and It can feel lonely but know that they'll still Love &care for you very much. :)

    Everyone else has been great and said alot of what I would have said about support groups etc. Just know there is always someone on here who cares too...more than likely all of us do :)

    Xx hugs xx

  • Hi joed

    I have read your post with so much pain and sorrow for how you are suffering at this time, both physically and emotionally. I want to assure you that you are an amazing and unique individual who is just as valuable and worthy as any other person, and you should be so proud of what you have achieved. You have been married all of this time and raised a family, and you should be proud of this.

    I think that zeb73 has given you some wonderful advice about talking to the Samaritans if you need a friend to listen? Have you ever considered joining a Fibro Group? And talking about what your life is like with like minded people? I have pasted you a link below to the FibroAction Fibro Group Directory:

    fibroaction-public.sharepoi...

    I want to wish you all the best of luck and please remember that we are always here.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Hi Joanne, it's OK to feel a little sorry for yourself, especially when like msBrightside said you really aren't. It's justified. We all get down and th pressure you are under is a lot.

    I agree with zeb on the need for counseling. For yourself and if possible, for your family. You say you have three other daughters. Is there any way that all or even one of them could get your husband and youngest daughter together with you, have each of you talk, and act as an objective observer. That is really the role of a counselor, but maybe a daughter could at least warm them up some so they understand you better - and so you understand how they feel and what they need. Assuming you know can lead to misunderstanding.

    I do hope you get to feeling much better. Some periods of time can be really hard. Isn't it helpful to rant? I think so!

  • thankyou for your reply i probably wont seek councelling as had a couple of bad experiences in the past also not being on a downer but we have tried to talk it just ends in a shouting match i just feel ive been left behind my husband and daughter just go about daily life not as much of a can i get you anything or how are you today this really hurts they are oviously fed up of me i feel a real burden we had a big bust up and my daughter left for the night and came back next day now does what she likes does less than before she went i already had one daughter who letf home at 15 ive have years of ups and downs and just feeling let down and on my own i just need my ct app so i know if anything else wrong im so scared as i feel like what i have got is killing me so for this sob story hope yoou dont mind but this site seems all i have got thanks for reading take care joanne x

  • Mitzi suggests you look into a pain clinic. Does that sound like a workable idea?

    I don't know what experience you have had with counselors. Have you gone just for yourself? Not taken any family members? Just concentrating on your own pain and having someone who can let you unload can be so healing.

    I have a therapist through a funded program. That might be better -in some cases - than going to a private therapist whom you have to pay, who might not be totally ethical since money is involved. I would hope not of course. My sister is a psychologist and I know she would never take advantage of her patients.

    Whatever you do, I hope you will find a decrease in your sadness. It makes ME sad to read your posts. I am drawing a big protective circle around you so no one can hurt you. Blessings to you, Clare

  • Hello joed

    I really do understand some of how you are feeling

    I'm awaiting to see if there is anything more surgical that can be done for one of my conditions . My family treat me like I'm lazy not ill .my nieces are the exception to the rule buth there lives are so buzy I can't burden them. My ex hubbie well we live separately he is still my main carer he truly gets the full picture but has full time job and me to care for . I can't tell him how scared I am about if there is surgery or how scared I am if there isn't .

    I had a virus that someone well could get rid of in 48-72 hours I'm 6 days in feeling so bad no one has called me since weekend when I rang my brother to tell him I was ill . My ex has popped round all weekend with tea and sympathy .im so v v lucky to have him but my immediate family it's like they don't understand or care and they have no intensional to add another burden to there life . Now I'm sorry for the rant I just wanted you to know joed I do care I do understand some thing and other than this website and the great people on it I don't have any answers but good luck I know the ladies and gents that have answered you have given me excellent advice before , hey it almost knowing when and what to start with please keep in touch honey love squeak xxxx

  • Sweetheart, we can be a burden to our families but at times they get ill and we always are there to help and do what wives and mom's do. You shouldn't feel so bad about it!!! You aren't responsible for your illness and can only limit yourself as to what your body is able to do. Have you tried a pain clinic? They do help make the pain bearable and helps us to have a few more better days, but our old life is affected and the best thing to do is don't think so much about what you can't do, concentrate on what you are able to do. It's frustrating I know. Hang in there Honey!!! xxxx Mitzi

  • hi ive been to pain clinic first i had a nerve block injection next time i had a lidocaine infusion neither of them to any avail they have nothing else they can offer me think whats making things worse is the not knowing what is currenting wrong with me im so scarred the pain in my thhighes is unbearable i wake in the morning to it and go to bed at night with it currently taking zapain they make me feel awful but dull the pain a little take care joanne x

  • So sorry sweetheart!!! I hope and pray they figure out what's wrong and are able to help you so that you aren't suffering so!!! xxx Mitzi

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