Fibromyalgia Action UK
38,764 members51,022 posts

Friday joke

WHAT IT MEANS TO HIM AND TO HER

-------------------------------------------------

1. THINGY (thing-ee) noun

Female... Any part under a car's hood.

Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

-----------------------------------------------------------

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adjective

Female... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

Male..... Playing football without a cup.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) noun

Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male..... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) noun

Female... A desire to get married and raise a family!

Male..... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) noun

Female... A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male..... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) noun

Female... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.

Male..... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) noun

Female... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male..... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8.. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) noun

Female... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male..... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND

He said - I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said - You wear pants don't you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He said - Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good-looking?

She said - They already have boyfriends.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He said - Why are married women heavier than single women?

She said - Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

The End : - ))

5 Replies
oldestnewest

Very very clever, I love it,sums up things just sooooo well .......hehehe. Foggy x

Reply

I am sure you know my Oh in real life.... Hides the forum quickly....

VG :)

Reply

I love the one about the grocery money - wish I'd thought of it! :)

Reply

All very good .thank for laugh

Reply

That's so true! I'd love to be able repeat some of these at work tomorrow, but useless at remembering jokes lol.

Reply

You may also like...