another joke

[stargazer61]

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary clinic. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning in a few moments with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet escorted the dog from the room and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and delicately sniffed the bird. The cat then sat back, shook it's head, meowed and ran out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but, like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably dead."

He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "A HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS!" she cried. "A HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS just to tell me my bird is dead?!"

The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only

have been $20, but... what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.....

[Hidden]

Hi

That's great, made me smile just told hubby and he had a chuckle too😂

Thank you for cheering me up. Take care of yourself

Lynne

[stargazer61 in reply to Hidden]

aw you're welcome, anything that brings a smile or laughter is all good! glad i took the bother to cut and paste them from old posts! xx

[ladyhm]

Love it😂😂😂

[Bobbassett]

Thanks for giving me a good giggle 😘😘

[RayB]

The old vet I worked with for 12 years (Carson) He would have loved that!

Auctualy you have brought back the feeling of working there again,, at times it was very sad but often it was a riot as Carson (RIP) was as eccentric as you could ever hope to meet.

Ray

[stargazer61 in reply to RayB]

love eccentric folk, how great to have a job where you're laughing, sounds worth his weight in gold...x

[RayB in reply to stargazer61]

He was often called as an expert wittness on some court cases.

He loved the drama of the court! Strangely enough it allways seemed to happen that a certain deafness would start making it's way in a few days before he was ever due to appear in court. On one such occasion he started talking about his aunt who had a wonderfull thing called an "ear trumpet" the next think he was tearing things out of the shed saying,, I know it's around here somewhere!

The selective deffness was only to give him plenty of thinking time,,not that he really needed it as he was sharp as a tack.

Oh my wouldn't an eccentric man in his 70's with a white beard and an ear trunpet protruding from his lug in the wittness box be quite a show.

I was lying over the operating table wishing I could stop laughing as my stomach was so sore,, while he obliviously searched for that ear trumpet.

[stargazer61 in reply to RayB]

Oh i love him, he sounds awesome!! i've got a couple of good stories from real court cases but i've got to run - maybe i'll tell you later if you want? i remember laughing out loud reading them, one concerned the solicitor's client having a prize racing pigeon named a*se and it's egg, son of ar*e, and at some point he regrettably has to sell his a*se, had me in stitches. thank everything that is that we have the wonderful gift of humour eh!

[RayB in reply to stargazer61]

Had a friend that was a clark in a divorce court,, but I don't think I can repeat the stories incase they are recognisable.

One involved a husband putting locks on all the kitchen cupboard doors and the refrigerator to curtail her compulsive eating.

Her defence was that he was very mean with money and resented spending money on food and rationed it out like gold dust,, he even locked the dog food away.

He claimed that her compulsion was so advanced she had taken to eating the dog food as well.

[stargazer61 in reply to RayB]

haha, would love to hear more....will tell you one when im back or tomorrow xx

[15beansoup]

Awesome !!!! Thank you

[eclegmata]

Brilliant...😂😂😂😂 thankyou

[marytee56]

😂😂 Thank you for making us laugh, keep them coming ❤ ❤

[Kitten-whiskers]

Brilliant, made me laugh - Thank you

[honeybug]

😆😅😅😂🤣😆😅😂🤣