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Fifty Shades of Grey – A husband’s view

The missus bought a Paperback …down Shepton, Saturday, I had a look inside her bag; T'was "fifty shades of grey".

Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said …..I am the dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; My god what had I done!? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can tell no more; About what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of Grey. :

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weetam
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15 Replies
spidey profile image
spidey

From one poet to another You ACED it!!!!!!

Rofl .... :D

karma_13 profile image
karma_13

Pms.... :D I had to read this to my partner, haha.

There was no comment, but he's a bit dry when it comes to anything a little exciting. Good job for me eh! ;) x

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

Oh dear oh dear - send for the Tena pads! That's wonderful! :D

Moffy x

Even my OH cracked his face when I read this to him....

esagestapo profile image
esagestapo

Why did the mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila!

Saskia profile image
Saskia

Loved it! XX

rainbowdancer profile image
rainbowdancer

I Laughed as best I could with broken ribs ,this was so funny x x

Rainbow x x

Ha ha love it:)

weetam profile image
weetam

I am glad you liked it : - )) Same time Same place next week.....

Sammicat15 profile image
Sammicat15

that's absolutely brilliant!!! loved it :-) can I pinch it please?

Wonderful! You're very talented!,thanks for making me giggle,lots!xxx

Jjudith profile image
Jjudith

Does all this happen in Shepton? I'll have to have a word with Mabel when the Mendip fibro support group meet next week. For a few tips.

gailmarie57 profile image
gailmarie57

Wonderful what a great bit of comic poetry.

Got to admit though I did enjoy the book(s) when it is painful to indulge it is very nice to dream........

Gail.

pmellis profile image
pmellis

Absolutely brilliant! laughed so much!.

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