Pole dancing classes

After deleting myself last night I SHOULD have known this was not a good idea but my fibro fogged brain decided otherwise.... So to get HRH from Moffys clutches after she has him cleaning for her due to her bad wrist i decided I would learn to pole dance and entice him away. All this should have started alarm bells as i have never been able to dance at all even when my body would have allowed it. I remember leaving the house, after that everything is a bit of a blur, I forgot to take a suitable outfit for the class, I,m not sure I got on the right bus and then I realised I was wearing my OHs glasses and I couldn't see a thing. Somehow I made it home I still have my bus pass so it could have been worse, so can anyone give me some pole dancing tips or does anyone have any ideas how to get HRH from Moffy?

[Maladjusted]

Leave the pole dancing to Moffy, VG. Maybe you should entice HRH with a little lap dancing instead? It has to be a whole lot easier - doesn't it? - gets out laptop, and decides it doesn't really look big enough for dancing on

[Hidden in reply to Maladjusted]

Hmmm I only have an iPad and rather large feet.. Not sure how that's going to work... Maybe I could borrow Hagrid off KazF and practice dancing on his lap that surely must be big enough

[Hidden in reply to Maladjusted]

Maladjusted you don't have a title , I am trying to be a Lady.... Would you like to be ... Hmmm what goes with Maladjusted... marchioness, Madam, no that sounds like you are running a house of ill repute... You could just swoop in and claim the title of queen we don't have one of those.....

[fairycazzie]

LOL at this well yes lap dancing is safer so long as they got hand cuffs on .

But if ya going to play with the pole the caress it , play with it give it a good rub and it will grow on you @@

Ohh before i got like this the pole was my perch in pubs i would not let anyone else share ohh to think of that nearly 3 yrs ago now lol my friends would turn the other cheek and pretend she did not know me then go caress the other pole.

We see as wine stands, beer stands and so can see over the pub to bar checking a free spot in the crowd haha.

The only poke these days is a bus one now adays .

Xxx

[ladymoth]

Prince H. has emptied my fridge, given me a chocolatey kiss on my cheek,, and told me that he's off to Auntie VG's to see if she has more food!

His helicopter is whirring its way to you, VG, as we speak, so you'd better pop off to Tesco for extra rations - goodness that boy can eat!

PS ... I have found an easy way to do pole dancing. Battery powered roller skates, handcuffs and a gallon of motor oil. What you do, see, is cover yourself with oil, handcuff yourself round the pole, so you don't fall off, then slip on the roller skates and switch on. You'll whizz round like anything! I haven't worked out how to stop the skates, tho' - suppose I'll just have to wait until the batteries run down - ooh er - dizzy!

Dame Moffy x

[Hidden]

Being rather a cheapskate I have rustled up some fairy cakes to save me spending money at the shops. Now to the pole dancing...... I have greased myself up with a tub of lard from the back of the fridge, tied myself loosely to the pole by the wrists with the very last of the knicker elastic... Hope it holds out..... Now I don't have any roller skates so am standing on my vibrating massaging pillow ..... Switches it on.... Oh my everything is jiggling up and down as I am vibrated up and down the pole.... I think I may well end up with a pair of black eyes

[Hidden]

Cazzie I think I need some of your expert advice ... Heeeelllllllppppp