A funny thing happened at work

[melodypond]

Well, after my last post saying how I felt energised by doing a pilates DVD (spurred on by my gorge physio) two days on the trot a funny thing happened at work yesterday. I had been struggling for a couple of days with fibro fog - doing lots of numpty things at work and being completely disorganised - so I knew something was coming... About 4.45pm yesterday I suddenly felt very anxious and had this tidal wave of fatigue come over me. Being newly diagnosed I am still getting used to all the weird things that happen when you have fibro but I am trying really hard to tune into my body and listen to what it is telling me - and it was most certainly telling me to lie down! I went into the room that doubles as a medical room and lay down for 10 mins. I had to leave on time at 5.30pm to pick up my eldest so was going to give myself those 10 mins, finish off and then go home (time was pre-diagnoses that I would have ploughed on and paid the price for days/weeks after). So I put my head down for 10 mins - and woke up an hour and half later! It was 6.15. I must have literally passed out. I was so groggy and stumbled back to my desk. Everyone had gone home except my immediate boss who looked up and said: "I've found that document now" - not 'where have you been' or anything! Nice to know I was missed. She then said are you going soon (as it was getting on a bit). Errrrr no, got to finish a few things I've been asleep for over an hour! (thought I probably should fess up). She said she had wondered where I was but obviously not twigged how long I was gone. Nothing like being indispensible is there? It hasn't always been easy at work and we are working on things but on the brighter side I suppose a. my manager believes the condition exists and b. I am lucky to work in a place that allows me to have a nap when needed (even if that is because no-one noticed I wasn't there) LOL I am starting to suss out that just when you think you have got things sussed about this condition it goes and throws up something else. I have had these fatigue tidal waves before but usually at home when I have overdone things like cleaning the bathroom so expect it. We are v. v. v. busy at work, which is probably why this happened and why my equally busy boss didn't notice I was gone, but c'mon how can you think you have been lying down for 10 mins and sleep for 90 when you didn't even think you were actually asleep!

[Hidden]

Hi melody, nothing like feeling invisible is their hehe. I have had fibro for about 10 years and i still get caught out. It is good tho that your work seem to be understanding and i hope that carries on.

One question, You never said anything more about your son?

I am starting a new job soon seeing as we need the money and i'm scared big time about how i will cope but hey ho just got to get on with it.

I hate it tho when you sleep like the dead yet wake up as if you have never slept but you must have needed it.

Take care honey and take it easy xxx

[melodypond in reply to Hidden]

hi there

It was actually my eldest daughter. I normally pick up my youngest from nursery but myself and the hubby swapped yesterday for reasons I won't bore you with. But if it was the usual pick up I would have been really stuck. My eldest was at my sister in laws though. No-one but my husband knows about my fibro yet so I texted the sister in law and said I was stuck at work. She's lovely and we are a close family so it was fine, though she did say she was getting worried about where I was, it wasn't because she was angry or anything.

And yes I know what you mean about the money. I really need to go full time but my job is quite demanding and three days finishes me off. Fortunately my husband is getting his head around this (though not always) and will let me lie in at weekends even though he is up at 5.30am every morning and has a physical job. Sometimes he gets annoyed and yells at me to get up but the more we learn about fibro and how overdoing it can set you back so much the more he is understanding. The price I pay for working is not having as much time with my kids at weekends but am trying not to feel guilty and am going for quality rather than quantity (time) - a bit like my alcohol consumption - one glass of champagne rather than a full bottle of wine!

It is hard hard work, don't get me wrong. I was so house proud and cleaned top to bottom every week - now we do low maintainance (dust and hoover) and I blitz a bathroom or clean the kitchen when I am up to it. And I only iron the kids uniforms every week, there's always piles of unironed clothing around my house but I cope by putting it in the spare room so I can't see it!

I know ultimately working makes me feel worse but we simply cannot afford for me not to work, we have so much debt as it is. I am trying to work out a good balance and I am sure you will too. But make sure before you start your job everyone is clear in your household about what you will and won't be able to do and the help you need. I couldn't do it without my husband's support - okay he doesn't clean but he does tons with the kids and ultimately that is what I would prefer as otherwise the guilt of being a 'rubbish mummy' sometimes would be too much.

Good luck in your new job, you can make it work for you I am sure. I always try to look on the bright side and if working means you can't iron then hey, every cloud and all that - I HATE ironing!

[Glenys in reply to melodypond]

Hi. Just a quickie about ironing. I don't mind ironing, and used to find it thereapeutic when I had the energy, but then I ended up always hiding enourmous (mostly still wearable) ironing piles away as I got worse. I always lost things at the bottom of the pile and the effort to retrieve them was frustrating.

I had to have a re-think.

Now the only thing I iron are hubby's work shirts and a top I use when I go out entertaining (pub singer, for my sins!). Apart from that everything else has not been ironed for 16 months now! When things are washed I give them a good shake whilst damp before I hang them out.

Shirts and tees get hung on hangers indoors so they retain their shape, and I find then that most other things iron themselves once they are being worn. I gently tease out the rolled up hems of shirts when the item is damp, and have found out that of you shake knickers and pull on socks to stretch them whilst also damp, you can soften them up without having to add softener to the wash (Great if you are allergic).

I found that hubby was a rubbish ironer and made more mess of the clothes than if I left them unironed. I think you might look at your pile and find some things can be worn and used without pressing.

Only iron the things that you think others will judge you on when you wear them.

Hope this helps. XG

[Hidden]

Hi melody sorry for giving your daughter a sex change hehe. My family still don't fully understand fibro but my partner Paul does, before he got with me he did research into it so he knew what he was getting into but it still shocked him because just after he moved in i had the worst flare up ever and ended up quite ill and left my new job at that time and although it has been a difficult 3 years getting back to at least 80% ( i say to people that their 89% fine is my 100% fine - if that makes sense). Paul helps with the house work thankfully and we share the cooking now. He is brilliant with our daughter Phoebe who is 10 and provides the best he can for us but we need the money and if i'm honest i need it mentally. I worked from the age 13 so to not work is horrid. I keep a very tidy house but wasn't always like that but Paul got Phoebe and i into a routine and slowly we got into it and it has benefited us greatly.

My job is housekeeping at a local resort so i will be doing what i do every day just more of it and it's only 11 hours, Monday's and Friday's so plenty of time to relax inbetween and we have already discussed the rota for the house. I will generally do most of the cleaning but he will clean on a tuesday and cook Monday's and Friday's. Paul works nights on friday's, saturdays,sundays and mondays so it has worked out very well for us.

My i ask why you haven't told family yet?

It is good that you have support. If theirs any advice i could give it would be listen to your body, do at least one thing every day and routine helps.

I hope you get to grips with this blessing ( it's actually a flipping curse but i try to think positivly hehe).

How old are your children?

I hate ironing too but not as much as putting away laundry :0

I really should go to bed, sorry for rambling off but i enjoyed corresponding with you

( check me out using big words haha

Night xx

[melodypond in reply to Hidden]

Hey ramble away, isn't that one of fibros'greatest gifts? The skill to ramble at will. Daughter won't mind the sex change she is a massive tomboy! My kids are 9 and 4. Sounds like you have got it down re:the work plan. Let me know how you get on and any other tips for managing home work and kids as you sound more organised than me. I used be super organised and have found it difficult that I'm not anymore. I was always the one who sorted everything out

But am now learning to say no, though the control freak in me often has other ideas!

Not told family as am very newly diagnosed and simply I am not quite sure how to. Plus it's a bit of denial, maybe if I don't say it out loud it won't be true. Also by not saying anything to them I am still the old me, if that makes sense - I can pretend if you like to be the person I was as, by not knowing, they still see the old me.

Your hubby sounds amazing, mine drives me crazy but wouldn't swap him. All his annoying little habits are applied by the fibro so that sometimes I don't even allow him to breath near me! Been together 20 years though so at least he had lots of goood years so can trade on his memories when I am being horrible saying "do you really have to breath?" Bless him!

[tettridge]

Hi

I was just reading your posts and I thought how nice it is that people talk with such humour about how something that is trying to wreck our lives, and so then I thought why not tell them because it is not often we get good in our lives and I suppose that is one of the main reasons I come on here to get help and to give help, but to get humour is also part of the site (VG & Ginns for example)

Thank you for making me smile.

Kindest regards

Terry

[melodypond in reply to tettridge]

Thanks terry really appreciate you telling us that. May the smiles continue!

[cosydaisy]

This is just how I feel , exhausted but working , I too have pared teh housework down to the very least without getting the grimebusters in. My husband is great helps, when he can but has a demanding job too. So pleased to hear I am not alone! keep going (slowly & pacing lol) best wishes ann

[scruffybabe]

Hi Melody,

Hope that you will have a betterw eekend, do you only have Fibro or do you have other conditions as well?

I was also recently diagnosed, in August 2012 after being very frightened sice June with the most terrible pains throughout my body, not being able to walk far, not able to sit/stand for long and I was also working, I am still working because like a lot of Fibro sufferers I just cannot afford to stop, hubby was out of work for 6 months and that was 3 years ago, still got debts etc, think this was one of the reasons I got the Fibro,from all the stress of the finances and worring about losing the roof over our heads!!!!

It always helps if you have a suportive partner and family as you all need to stick together when something like this happens, you are douing your best to cope with it all and i know it must be hard at times.

Is your GP supportive and helping you Melody?

Enjoy your weekend.

XXXXXXX

[melodypond]

Thanks for all your comments and for chatting with me. Sorry went of radar am on a train back from london for work. i will pay the price for working an extra day this week i aching all over which will be pain by tomorrow.My humour is sometimes lacking but I do try hard. Before I had a dx that is a thing hubby noticed a lot, he kept saying my sense of humour had gone, in fact lots of me has gone. I may try Botox so that I have a new face to go with my new (NOT much improved personality).