Terrible day at Work

[n_raines]

This morning I could hardly bring myself to get out of bed. But I did anyway and went work as usual.

I've explained to my colleagues and manager all about Fibro after my recent diagnosis. At first they said all the right things and seemed really supportive.

Yet I'm beginning to feel really undervalued. I continue to try and keep up with all the usual activities expected of me, yet it's starting cause my flare ups.

One of the girls has really got to me today. She knows full well that Fibro fog causes me to be really forgetful. I try my hardest to write everything down in our day book so I remember. Yet she's thinks it's really funny to continue to joke about my forgetfulness. At first I went along with it. But now she's starting to do it more so when she has an audience of people. I think she just wants to make me look stupid. Had enough today :/

[trekster22]

Have you asked her to stop as it's beyond funny for her to continue?

[n_raines in reply to trekster22]

I'm planning on texting her later when I've calmed myself down. I've never been good at face to face confrontation and I have to work with her a lot. Sometimes I just wish they could have it for a day and see how they manage. Thanks for the reply.

[trekster22 in reply to n_raines]

Anytime and hugs, is there any way of having less time with her?

Totally hear you as i said "hope you get fibromyalgia mate.......then you will know what it's like" because he wouldnt let my carer sit with me on the train. i was panicking due to the crowds and having a very painful fogged out day.

[Very_Sick in reply to trekster22]

Not even my husband understands nor cares too but if he has just a bad nights sleep he experiences similar and brings to my attention as if I have no clue what it is like to not sleep much let alonr a restless night. I dont wish this on anyone as I do believe in Karma but even if he were to live with all my symptoms he will always be worse off and expect me to understand and show compassion. It really frustrates me as he is very self serving. Nice man indeed but only when he is in the right company and mood.

[Very_Sick in reply to n_raines]

They wouldnt know what hit them if they for one day had to force thesmselves to move let alone think clearly. One day in our bodies would be enough to take them down altogether. You are strong and I believe she finds you a threat. I do not like face to face either not many do but it would be effective putting her on the spot cause she knows you are too nice and wont do that and she takes advantage of it and uses it to intimidate and manipulate. Start with the text and be very honest about what you deal with (not that she will care) but also ask her why she feels the need to do this. At some point if she doesnt stop, you must approach her face to face as the text will be easy for her as well and she wont have to respond or take it personally as she deletes it and continues forward making it worse knowing that it really bothers you. This goes beyond your illness as I believe there is more she has against you or maybe many but you like me are easy targets. Good luck. Keep us posted.

[Very_Sick]

I am proud of you. You are ill and working still. Whether you have choice or not, you push and show up and do the best you can. It is so disgusting to me when people poke fun due to their ignorance and being spiteful without cause. I get the same. A lupus rash will prompt people to ask then poke fun. If I am very forgetful that day or do something very simple yet difficult for us even family members fail to acknowledge my diseases and make light of it in a rude or humorous way. If my own family doesnt care to learn, understand and be sensitive then how can I expect others to? I dont wish these diseases on anyone but I do know when anyone else experiences the same due to one night of losing sleep they are justified. It is maddening to me as I explain that is my life 24/7. If they become moody, irritated and have an outburst it is validated. I hate this disease more than anything because of the lack of understanding, knowledge, awareness and the lack of compassion people have. It would be easier to cope if people would know enough to keep their mouths shut and believe that it is real and that we arent stupid but rather strong and intelligent. If we can accomplish what they do with all the adversity we face daily, they might just consider the fact that they are by far fortunate to have their health. They are the ones who have no mind and need to mind their own business if they cant ve undersranding and supportive. I feel so bad for you and do understand, relate and hate that people treat us like this. I too laugh with them but inside my stomach churns. It is a cruel and self serving world we live in and when someone can target us to make themselves feel and look better they will. I am learning to be proud of myself no matter what people say and do. I pray that these people one day find that they need to repent for their actions and words and hopefully learn compassion or understanding without learning through the same or similar experience. You are not alone by any means and maybe you just need to embarass her when she looks for an opportunity in a crowd or call her out on it as she is in the process in front of many or ask her not to when you both are alone. I would ask her why she has this need as she too may be suffering in some other way that causes her to be so bitter. God Bless you and I pray she goes away and all those just like her.

[n_raines in reply to Very_Sick]

Thanks for such a lovely reply I 100 % agree with everything you have just said. The funny thing is she was also complaining about how her 2 year old had her up half the night. How ironic. It helps so much that I know there are people out there that understand. I suppose there will always be ignorant people, I am usually tougher but when your having a bad day it's just it just gets the better of me. Thanks again.

[Royalspec01]

Right stop right there......... no wonder its getting to you its called subtle bullying and its also moral targeting , its illegal and please put in a written complaint. Yes I hear you , Oh I don't want to be a bother, it wont hurt, ill let it go...... Please don't, your worth it even with fibro please do as I suggest. I had that happen to me for six years im ill today because of it and I believe it caused my fibro please don't let it go by . Fibro friend. xx

[TheAuthor]

I am so sorry to read that and I want to genuinely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[bluejeans16]

Just try to let it go over your head. Worrying about it will do you no favours. It is just ignorance on her part. She will soon get tired of it if you ignore her.

[mikeymoo]

Hi there,

This sounds all too familiar to me. There is a fine line between normal workday banter and bullying. I would say that if this colleague of yours continues, have a quiet chat and tell her how she has made you feel. You are doing well to still be at work, I was ill-health retired in January 2015. If you still want to stay at work then I suggest you try and resolve the situation ASAP. If speaking politely to this colleague doesn't work then go to her supervisor/line manager.

I used to bottle a lot of things up at work. Colleagues would be constantly making comments to me. Even a supervisor once said I "walked like I had rubber bands attached to my feet." Good luck with it all, try and stay strong.