low low low!!!

As I sit here all alone not tired again, as sleep is very poor at present, tears running down my cheeks I do wonder how long can I put up with this awful curse on my life. My family are falling apart and I feel this is all down to me not having the strength to be there for them like I have always been. I am my husbands carer he was diagnosed with Acromegaly in 1991 and retired off work in 1996, he had a stroke last year which has added to his illness.

The trouble is i had 2 operations in September which incapacitated me for a number of weeks allowing this awful curse to take over my body : ( Although I have been diagnosed for a few years I managed to hold everything together and a part-time job of 3 days a week , working on-call, nights and long shifts, I also walked my dog for an hour everyday. I truly believe your mental ability to control pain can work, obviously I did have the occasional day when it was a real struggle to move my body out of bed but I would and get on with it. Now i struggle to move, have not walked my dog, fall over on a regular basis and drop things for a pastime.

My family do not understand and are no support at all, I just wish I could turn the clock back 3 months and not of had the operations and therefore would still be living a relatively normal life. I do not know how i am going to manage Christmas as all I do is cry, not in front of any of them of course.

Sorry just had to have a moan!!!!!!

10 Replies

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  • Hello Whitecross, so sorry to hear how you are feeling at the moment. This time of year particularly can be very difficult for many of our members. It sounds like you have had a tremendous amount to deal with recently with your husband's health, your health and operations, working, the family etc.

    This can all be difficult for not only you but your family too. It sounds like everyone might be struggling at the moment. Your family don't understand about your Fibromyalgia, they are struggling with the situation too, which in turn is a struggle for you on top of everything else.

    Partners and family members experience denial and increased stress, so much so they feel unable to manage. Communication often breaks down as the partner and family members need to talk but feels they cannot talk to you as you are poorly. They all ignore the situation as a coping mechanism in the hope it will go away.

    I wondered could this be a possibility in your relationships with your partner and family? If you all able to gain some support with this may this would it help to the situation?

    The local support group near you (if you have one) may be able to help support you all or maybe your family may want to contact some organisations that help support families in situations like yours.

    You may find with the extra outside support helps the situation to improve

    Please know that we are here for you and we do understand.

    I wish you all the best

    (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • hi whitecross you sound very depressed understandably so with everything going on, is depression part of your fibro ? i ask because not everyone has same illnesses.

    you can always phone the samaritans if you feel really alone

    would you be able to get an emergency appointment with your GP ? hopefully you have an understanding 1?

    at the end of the day we only have so much energy , strength and tolerance with people unable to imagine what pain can do to your life

    Its a shame we can't turn back time but unfortunately we can't , did the surgery help at all ?

    i refused surgery when they couldn't say the op wouldn't make me flare, however its a deferment not a cancelation. I would have to get to the stage again where i can't walk at all but they can't catch me at the mo cos i am a swift mover ha ha not

    warm hugs to you xx

  • hi Whitecross, not a lot I can add to Liberty's post at the moment, except to say that this is a good place to share, rant cry and, yes, laugh and be silly.

    People really do understand and have helped me tremendously.

    There are also links to real info that you can trust.

    regards,

    sandra. :)

  • Whitecross, have you been to see your GP recently and discussed how you feel? GP's are there to help us with coping and our emotions too. It might be a good idea to have a review of your meds if you don't feel they are helping you manage as much as they should do. We all need a review from time to time because our symptoms can change and evolve.

    Are you taking an antidepressant medication to help you at the moment, if not, this might be worth asking for to help you cope a little better. You have a lot on your plate at the moment and might need a little boost to help you.

    Please let us know how you get on. Take care.

    (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • Morning this christmas fairy is sending you a hug of epic proportions and a bucket full of courage wrapped in tissues. Libbs is right go to the Doc today dont delay get help with the tears just stopping the tap helps. I take duloxetine for this anxiety pwh we are fed up is it any wonder .

    Here is an extra smile :) xgins Happy crimbo hunny

  • I am new here and just been diagnosed with Fibro. I hope things improve for you soon...no advice to add except to echo what has been said, see your doc today. Things can get better xx

  • Like you WC I have someone ill in the house and wehn she takes bad it does take its toll on me. But I just have to keep picking mysefl up and dusting myself down, it is all I can do. I hope things improve for you very soon hun. This is the best place you can come to if you need to let off steam xxxxx

  • Loving thoughts are with you, whitecross. I can't add to what has been said above and I don't know your situation but I take anti-depressants and have told my GP that if it is OK, I will stay on them for the rest of my life because when I came off them a few years ago, under the supervision of my GP, I had such a bad relapse (at Christmas time) and I NEVER, EVER want to go through that again. I did get help at the time, probably more than I had ever had after my initial breakdown, so it was a blessing in disguise, although at the time it was awful.

    I am on a lower dose than I had been when I had my breakdown but I am reasonably OK on it. I don't want to go on a higher dose as I'd be much too drowsy. I do still get very down some days but it passes eventually, so I bear with it. Christmas is a particularly difficult time for me because of past bereavements.

    As others have advised you, do you think you could get an urgent appt. with your GP? If you are not already on anti-depressants maybe a course of them would help to boost you up a bit.

    Don't try to battle with all your symptoms and pain and sadness on your own. What you are having to deal with is too much when you are feeling so low. Ask for help ( hard I know ) from someone, whether it is your GP or a nurse. Samaritans are always on the end of the phone and they will listen but not give unwanted advice.

    I shall be thinking of you. Take great care of yourself. Hugs from Saskia. XX

  • Sometimes we just want to hear everything gunna be alright an it will be im just getting over a bad bout of depression really bad but things are starting to look abit brighter with medication we all need help sometimes its just saying it out loud that's the problem but being on here has helpt alot when you feel so alone .things will will work out it just takes abit of time to get get there so sending you loads of hugs coz i know how you feel hugs hugs hugs xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Thank you all so much for the support hugs and smiley faces!!!! I have got amitriptyline which I take when I really need to as they make me so drowsy, am no good to anyone the following day.

    Anyway went to see my GP on Friday to ask for another month off work to enable me to build up my strength to cope with my demanding job. He said just take 3 tablets instead of the 1, so explained how they made me feel he said well that's what i would do. Then went on to say if this went to DSS they do not listen to Gps so would say 2 arms 2 legs fit for work!!!! I could not reply as was so hurt I had been crying in his office and there was no compassion at all. I am going back tomorrow for another blood test to rule out polymyalgia!!!

    So looking forward to seeing him again. Where have all the old, caring family Gps gone??

    Thanks again everyone. X

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