Im a 46 year old lady who has had many health problems and stress in my life but I dont know if fibromyalgia is linked. I am a strong person, I have had to be and this illness has knocked me sideways. I grew up and was sexually abused for years has a child, then I spoke out asked for help only for my mum to go and have a nervous breakdown. Ended up in care and when I got back home but my Mum was never the same, cold and uncaring, so I brought myself up really. I married the first real boyfriend I had who turned into a raging alcoholic, he made my life miserable and I left on New years eve with bin bags of clothes and went into a womens refuge with my 3 daughters aged 13, 8 and 3 at the time. I have always tried to do the right thing but being kind and honest and quiet doesnt get you heard. I am too soft and end up being walked all over. I have so much I could tell you but I'll be here all week. At present I wake up with severe back pain and I cant do anything until the pain killers work. Im not sleeping im not concentrating, I am like a zombie most days and a trip to the shop is too much has my pain is so bad when I try to walk. So I stay in, and rest and rest and pity myself. I have trapped nerves in my neck and I constantly have numb legs and hands. Im going through the change at 46(hot flushes daily) a little early but its due to my hysterectomy I had in my 30's and that was cos I had a prolapsed womb after the birth of my 2nd daughter. I slipped a disc in my 30's too but I learned to manage through it. My body feels wrecked and Im weary. I got my 3rd DLA appeal next month and I am starting to feel stressed about it because my last two went bad and made me look like I was lying, I was told I couIdnt claim again unless there was anything legally wrong with what the Judges decided but they lied about me, they said I walked in slowly and when I returned for the decision, I got up out my chair fast and walked out the room quickly, I never even went back in for the decision my rep did. It made me feel upset and angry and when I pointed this out my rep said I wouldnt bother complaining because nothing will change. So unfair. I know I cant work, so how do I manage, I have worked all my life and I loved my last Job, (was there 12 years) and I couldnt get ill health retirement because the doctors were so slow in diagnosing me. I think the violence by my ex husband didnt help, he would terrorise me and kick me in my backand punch me, I was so scared and weak and vunerable. I wish there was real magic wands, I would make a spell to free me of pain and tiredness and have some quality times again. I miss life. Im a nice person, just lack confidence and alot of people just dont get me. I seem to be alone more and more because I cant socialise and I just feel like its a cruel world xx
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