hi all,I'd love to write lots of really cheery things but to be honest I feel quite rough.
I've been trying to get my act together but I take one step forward & two back!!
I think that my pain is slightly easier tonight but I'm getting a sore bum for sitting down for so long.I find it difficult to do nothing & as I can't read easily now nor do any of my hobbies, sitting, listening to music is one of the things left. But it has a real down side. When I'm inactive I think & think & worry & think a bit more. When I'm worried I need to take action, which often includes writing letters.
Hmm, I'm hoping hat I won't regret 2 letters that I've sent.
My first letter was to my GP.I began writing to her a few nights ago when I was having some really troublesome thoughts, but then I decided to explain quite how bad Fibro affects me
Last night, feeling really crap I added a few more pages. This morning I wasn't sure if I should send it, but because I HAD to make myself leave my flat, I gathered up all of my courage & went to the surgery. I nearly changed my mind but popped it in the letterbox quickly. Then of course the doubts started!
That was letter one.
Just after I got back one of my sons phoned. We had a really long chat, part of which entailed him laying it on the line quite what a mug I'm being with my husband.
He pointed out how unfair it is that he lives rent free in our 4 bedroomed house (no mortgage) driving around in our car while I can't get out on my scooter anymore & can't afford taxis, so have to stay in.
There was lots of other stuff too, but it hit a chord. He was right, so this evening I wrote letter two.
The thing with this letter is that it was electronc (email) I began to doubt the wisdom of sending it, even though I made sure that I worded things carefully & got my facts right,I knew that trying to force my husband to do something wasn't a good idea. He's been very manipulative for most of our marriage & delights in making me dance to his tune, but when I walked out 5 months ago, he hated it. Not me leaving, but me doing something for myself. He'd always told me how useless I was & how I'd never cope alone & I was lucky to have him. But he was wrong.
Anyway, I won't bore you with details but I've given him a deadline to sort out our personal possessions & pay me for half the car, or I will pass it all to my solicitor
It needed to be said, we'd agreed to keep solicitors involvement to a minimum but he simply ignores polite letters, our divorce is in less than two weeks, & he wanted us to do it amicably but then does nothing!
I know that it would lead to bad feelings between us & my finger hovered over the keyboard.
( I can no longer control a mouse) & once again I tried to make the right decision but my shaking hand jerked & hit the send button. Oh well. Decision made!
Now I'm feeling a bit bad. Life has been really difficult recently, I just hope I haven't made it worse.
I want to finish on a cheerful note, but I can't think of anyting,
Oh what a misery, I think I'll fall out with myself!!!!!
Actually, a positive note...
In between sitting I cleaned & moved a large percentive of my crystal collection. They had been allowed to become in dissaray & were really looking uncared for. This has been bothering me for a while but I just couldn't do anything about it. But between yesterday afternoon & this evening I've rearranged them & they are looking much better.
I use my crystals a lot, to help me with all sorts of things but they need to be well cared for, or they don't work well. Now though, looking around my living room they look great.
Thats it, end quickly before I start on negative things again.
Hope you guys have had a reasonable day
gentle cobwebby hugs to all xxxxxxxx