I haven't put many blogs on here so far, I really enjoy reading everybody elses. But today I need someone to talk to and you guys are all I have. Today is my gorgeous granddaughters 16th. birthday, I've been at my daughters house all day helping with a surprise party for her after school. it's been great until Harley (my granddaughter) turned up the music! With that and all the background noise my head felt like it was going to explode. So rather than ruin her party i said I was going home. My daughter asked why so i told her and all I got was 'not the fibro again, mum' I said it was and she said i blame everything on the fibro!! To which my reply was 'thats because its to blame for everything' I'm now home and had a good cry but I don't feel any better. I just wish this bl--dy fibro would just go, I can't take how it makes me feel, and other peoples reactions to me feeling like this all the time.
I can cope with the pain, I don't have as much pain as some of you do. It's the effect it has on my head that I find hard to cope with. My memory is rubbish and the fibro fog is awful. But today has been terrible, I just can't cope with noise.
Written by
Poochywoo
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Hello Poochywoo, gentle hugs,
I too dislike loud music - even my own music has to be on less volume these days and I love my music loud - or I used to until the Fibro encroached on my life. Like you - for me too - Fibro IS to blame for everything Not many - if any - of my friends really get what fibro is or more to the point - what fibro does to a person afflicted with it - one constantly moans to my daughter she's worried s she's not heard from me as it's MY turn to ring her! I thought if anyone was worried about another - then surely THEY would make the call? - Many a time I've felt like quitting life - and have even laid out all my months supply of assorted meds - until thoughts of my children and my subsequent arrival last August of my Grandson - halts those thoughts. though when my daughters were still in primary school - I even plotted in my head how to take them with me - it was that thought that stopped me dead in my tracks and I knew I needed help ASAP! I was found to be suffering severe depression brought on by a car hitting me a year or so before and that accident was the tip of the iceberg that would lead me down the road years later to being diagnosed with Fibro and PTSD. To finally know I was not going insane was relief as was being diagnosed with something - But when I read up online about Fibro, despite antidepressants, I hit rock bottom again but the fighter was still in me - just as it was when I went for help in the first place and it's that fighter of old that won't let the Fibro win. We are all made up differently I know, but if you can find something worth keeping going for and use it as a mantra, hopefully you'll be able to think more positively. Don't let this evil illness take you over and win sweetie. I still get black moments when the pain is at it's worse, but I have a cuppa, pain meds and wrap my hands and feet to keep warm, slide under my duvet and either watch TV or doze my way through the pain.
I hope my words are able to cheer you and not make you feel worse!
If you go to my one and only blog - as bad as what is written there is, because of HOW it is written, it actually makes me grin as I know I'm still "winning" - for want of a better word - against this evil son-of-a-gun!
Thank you for your reply, Carol. I know i'm just feeling sorry for myself at the moment. We all have a bad time with this damn disease from time to time. My fibro started with pneumonia about 5 years ago. I have thought about ending it all sometimes but with 3 beautiful grandkids to keep me going it passes. Thanks again, honey. xx
My fibro started from when I was about 12, maybe younger, but it was events a few years later that really were the kickers. And yes, we all get to feel sorry for ourselves from time to time - any why not? It's an invisible disease that hurts like heck - so let's indulge ourselves now and then and have a blooming good wallow in self pity!
Thats is so bad what your daughter said to you. I would be so upset too. My family dont get it to be honest with you, i am a bugger for getting on with it though so they never know when i am bad unless i cant get out of bed bad.
I cant stand any noise, especially back ground noise in a house. I cant think i cant hear what people are saying and that sends me into a flare and i just need to get out and need some peace and quiet.
I hope you feel better after some sleep and i am sorry but i dont know what you can do about your daughters insensitive remark, hopefully she wont of meant it the way you have took it. I know my partner says some things and i take it tottally the wrong way when i am bad.
Hi Poochywoo, I have been dignosed 6 weeks now and my son dont talk about it hes pretending its not happening , but he came for a hour sunday for a chat and i was on my knees in the dining room and was stuck and without a word he helped me up and gave me a hug. I dont think they can accept we are ill becauce we have allawys been there to comfort and care for them. I dont think your daghter meant to upset you they just dont think . ps he came for a chat and ended up eating half my joint of pork . dont you just love em x
Thanks guys, you've helped me a lot. I've just had a moan to my mum, bless her she's 81 and got far more wrong with her than I have. She's helped too. Gentle hugs to you all. xx
I had a rant earlier and I am.bl---y feed up today as well, we all understand each other but our family struggle, I think like many of us that you tried to partake of a normal day,a fun day BUT this rotten illness won't let us enjoy normal life. Perhaps a shorter visit would have been better and it is ok for me to say that but on Sat I went to a motorhome show and did to much, hence bad day today.
I was thinking of shoring my neighbours and myself because their noise drives me mad how rational is that ! Hence I checked myself into the docs but at the moment I think you would have to do something mad to get their attention. Don't worry I won't two valium and bed for me.
Sending gentle hugs, I have had these exact comments from hubby before, I use to get exstreamly cross and they are insensitive.
However when I took a step back, I thought as much as I get fed up and angry with fibro, maybe he does too.
It's been hard enough for me adjusting to what fibro throws at me daily and so what has it been like for him.
We use to love to socialize as a couple, pubs and friends houses, If we got now I can not tolerate the noise. I know this frustrates him now. But I always explain in the cold light of day, how much it effects me.
Your Daughter was more than likely in the throw of the party and did not mean to be insentitive, but wanted you to stay and did not say so in the best of ways.
Am sure everything will work out, must be tearful Wednesday I had a good old cry earlier. So wipe your tears, have a nice relaxing evening.
Gentle Hugs
Lou x
hi look donyt worry i am the same i am only 47 and loud noise does my head in too so dont worry it was not nice of your daughter to say that but i suppose she is ignorant to fibro i dont mean to be rude when i sy thay but unles we sit our families down and tell them what it is like what chance have we got for them to understand any way dont feel bad you had been there all day and helped and also stayed for a biy and what 16 year old want a load of oldies round my kid s certainly woulnt including me anyway dont worry yourself love to you diddle x
hi, think we all the same, my routine in a morning was kettle on, computer on, radio on, dog out on garden, for ages now i cannot bear radio on at all, have gone from loving loud music to nothing, even the noise people in the house make irritate me,, sometimes i just shut myself away and tell them i need quiet.xxxxxxxxxxx
you should write down how this illness makes you feel & that you find it hard to do things you used to as you can't cope now give it to your daughter to read then maybe she might understand what life is like for you now.hugs xx
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Having a rant sorry in advance !!!
Sorry everyone
why do i feel so guilty for having fibro?
I NEED A MOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry guys feeling so down
