Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Flare up threatening - very wrong time

I'm just new here - I have been diagnosed with Fm for years + the usual ibs etc. I take butrans patches, pregablin, other bits..

But today, a flare up is on horizon - close. Ibs has hit hard but I Cannot have this happen now! My elderly mother (88) is having a hip replaced tomorrow and I am meant to be here to support her through it... Now my ibs has flared (sure sign the rest will follow)... I am absolutely devastated!

I am meant to be here 3 weeks... and I am struggling already. I will of course rely on my electric wheelchair, but I am very concerned I shall not be able to do the best for her- especially cos if things flare good and proper... I could be almost bed bound!

Oh bother

5 Replies

Hi Jimjams i have been sensing a flare up over the past few days also, i realise you prob already know, but have imoduim, movicol and buscaphen to hand, I've spent past 2 nights taking buscaphen so The cramps are kept at bay, been taking movicol to get my bowels leveled out as I said you probably already know all this smiles and hugs xx


Hi... I know exactly how you feel, my mum had to have an ankle operated on but because of her health issues and the hospital and her gp seeing the state I was in at the time they could see there was no way I was going to be able to care for her ... She's double my weight for a start no way could I lift her get her bathed etc... As soon as she got into hospital which was 40 miles away and I can't drive they said she wasn't leaving hospital until she could walk with zimmer frame .. She was in hospital 11 weeks ... Then when she came out the hospital had arranged care 3 times a day to come in even though she lived with me as they could see I would not be able to cope. Since then she has gone into sheltered care which she loves and I have moved to a small bungalow. I would phone her gp and explain the situation which is what my husband did for me and I expect if you go with your mum to the hospital they will see how you are unable to cope and put some other plan in place ... I know it's hard to deal with not being able to care for you mum when she needs you.. But as you say you really may not be the best care giver your mum could have. And that's not meant in a nasty way you have to think of your health as well as your mums

Goog luck VGXX


Try and keep calm some of your flare will be coming from the worry over your Mother. I am sure your positive attitude will help you through and I wish your Mum luck for the op, So you will have a few days in which to calm your flare up . Our bodies are amazing and because you need to be there and be helpful the resources will come from deep with you to cope and help her recover.

I send you courage and a gentle hug x gins


hi you will be a valued help to your Mum even if you can't physically help. You can keep her company and she will have you to chat to and i am sure you will be able to help each other. take care of yourself. J


Hello friends, I thank you for your replies.. I thought I would tell you how things are going with me trying to be here for my mum..

It's been truly WAY harder than I reckoned... when I was visiting at the hosp - the did see that I was in a chair etc.. tho to be fair I said I could help mum with her feet (easier than me doing my own feet in one way)..

But here living in her house has been proving v hard.. she picks me up on Every last little detail that I do differently to her.. I can't, for instance, reach up and easily pull her curtains- her rails do not match the hooks so they are only balanced on-they drop off all the time and she's wanting me to hang them again .. But it HURTS me to raise my arms up like that, so I said I'ld not worry- she got rather troubled by this...

Also, she constantly wants dialogue.. talking, or the telly.. I need periods of quiet...

And the lights.. Mum has bright lights on.. I can't manage bright lights.

Today has not been great, I have had a neuralgia down one side of my face, a bad headache and pains in legs/arms/hands/side/back. So I've been trying to go and lay down a bit more today- but this is not always understood- she says 'the right words' rest.. or take it easy yourself.. But because of her memory... she forgets and needs to ask me more..

Have I been really stupid... no one else in family are really able/willing to help..


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