First ever blog - deep breath and here we go

[madmoo]

Let me apologize firstly if I go off subject and start waffling- this is very new to me . Short history of me: - I am 53 and have not worked for 20 years due to mental health problems (borderline personality disorder, psychosis, clinical depression +other minor disorders).I also suffer from sciatica due to a fall where I cracked and chipped a vertebrae, as well as asthma, gall stones (which I have refused surgery), ulcer and carpel tunnel syndrome (where I did allow them to operate earlier this year and they messed it up imperially). So when I started to get severe and chronic pain which started in my knee's and has now spread to every joint in my body I am sure you can imagine the reaction I got from the medical profession!!! Thankfully I now do have a great GP (but for how long is anyone's guess as she was a locum covering maternity but is staying on for the time being). She sent me t the physio therapist for a full assessment and it came back with early stage arthritis and fibro?? My Dr was great though, she did the recommended pokes and prods and agreed that it could be and probably was fibro, and then referred me to a rheumatologist, who of which I see tomorrow and I am absolutely terrified!!!! Because I smoke, am overweight (due in part to the psychiatric meds) and am a loon, all I get normally is: quit smoking, lose weight and get a life!!!!!

I don't lie in bed all day expecting someone to look after me, I have to keep moving as for the past 2 years I have had to look after my 85 year old mother who has become very frail and prone to falls. Also I live alone so there is no one to 'wait on me hand and foot' which has been mooted in the past.

I didn't know much about fibro and didn't research it thoroughly deliberately as I didn't want anything to cloud my symptoms before my hospital appointment, this is not because I feel susceptible to my symptoms being contaminated by information on a given condition but as my brain is misfiring already - I didn't want to give it any ammunition lol. It is most likely fibro and tomorrow the research will begin. Wish me luck as I feel I'm going to need it

[Ginsing]

Welcome to the site the place where you can vent your frustrations listen and reply to other in the same boat -it helps this is a great site- I wish you loads of luck with your appointment and here is a smile for courage to take with you looking forward to your blogs x gins

[madmoo in reply to Ginsing]

Thank you for you smile and kind words.

[Extremelygrumpy]

Welcome and don't apologise for being a loon... Loads of us on here have .. Fibro fog and sometimes we can't even string a sentence together...and forgetful.... Welcome to list land where we write everything down and then lose the lists. If you are diagnosed with fibro the only advice I would give you is try and pace your day cos all of us are on different meds..

Good luck

VG xx

[madmoo in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Thank you . Lol at fibro fog, well one good thing at least its not dementia which I was fearing, and am so glad to find out its not just me that writes things down and then loses the notebook lol.

[irisjoy]

hi you sound like a lovely positive person who makes her own descisions , you know what is right for you and i am sure you will be fine @ your appointment. I always try to remember that at the end of the day we are all people who have good and bad days ( well i have heard about good days lol ) the Dr will take your meds into consideration and whilst you are correct about smoking and weight being one of their favourite issues we are as we are and behaving all the time is so boring ha ha , all the best, please let us know how things go. You will find people on here genuinely care and will have a great understanding , bye for now J

[madmoo in reply to irisjoy]

Thank you . My weight and smoking did come up but not in a nasty way - they are aware that psychiatric meds are notorious for weight gain and 'try' and cut down the ciggies ..... but no judgements which is usually the norm (spooky lol).

[Hidden]

Good luck madmoo! You will find yourself in excellent company on this site and nobody will be judging you. Do let us know how you get on! Jane x

[madmoo in reply to Hidden]

Thank you and have done a follow up

[rosehip]

Hi and welcome . i suffer depression and anxiety and you are not a loon xxxxxx

[Hidden]

welcome I am always told to the loose waight / get a life or its your fibo club

I do work have kids and huby but be brave on here there are so many members who will support you xx

gentle dyslexic hugs

[madmoo in reply to Hidden]

Thank you . Oh I get told I should lose weight regularly or did until a dietician told me I would find losing weight VERY difficult or impossible due to my medication and my health problems ( and this was before being diagnosed with fibro).

Ooh another club I already belong to the nutty club ( as my dear brother calls it) now in the fibro club - had better be careful - the government will start the think I am having too much fun lol ( if they haven't already ).

[madmoo]

Just to apologise for not replying before. I did manage a quick read of them before my appointment but that was just between doing things for mum. ( She's napping at the moment ). But thank you all for your replies moo x