Hi everyone,, i have had a very gruelling weekend into this week.and have very much missed being able to nisit the site!
I went to see my Father who was in hospital,and in a dreadfful state on an HDU ward - but that was the wrong thing - he didn't want me there, so back to Devon I came on Sunday evening.. Whilst I wad there I managed to organise a ripple bed for him as he was getting bed sores (which to my mind are only a sign of BAD nursing !!) I then got a call from my control freak of a brother on Tuesday morning saying that Daddy had taken a turn for the worse and I should go up again (this is a 380 mile round trip and driving that distance is hideous for me) anyway, I said I would not go up again as I thought it would only make my father more anxious again, which he didn't need. Anyway he passed away at 10.30 on Tuesday evening. Now I feel awful.....the stress has kicked the fibro into top gear and my B++++ brother is busy making me as upset as he possibly can, I honestly don't believe the way people think some times !!
Earlier today my borther asked me to think of Hymns and readings for the funeral (as I am the only one in the family who has a faith) but hey ho....no......Jonathan has thrown out all my ideas - it feels like I just don't matter in any shape or form and I have no one to turn to support and for some understanding. The feeings of rejection are so hard rto handle
Sorry for the whinge but as you are all such lovely people, I thought you might understand. muchly dottii xx