i have small, close & loving family for which i'm very grateful and value above anything. also have long & complex medical history coupled with the personality more suited to a carer than a caree. i have a much loved/loved by older brother who also has some quite complicated health/lifestyle problems, & over many years we have settled into habits that involve me happily supporting him and helping out wherever possible. my health over the last 2-4 years has seriously deterierated & i have spent the last 18 months trying to get him to understand & accept my limitations, & i can see how hard things are for him too, how he tries and worries about me & his struggle to cope generally. although never diagnosed (in his 50's) i believe he is a 'high-functioning autistic', he's extremely intelligent with zero social situation sense & fails to understand the way the rest of the world operates which means his stress levels are regularly sky-high, he has ocd in direct conflict with mine - i need order/he lives in chaos. i have tried using the 'spoons' analogy etc. I AM STUCK!!! I just dont know what to do. he doesn't trust anyone else but i'm unable to cope. please, if you have any suggestions, willing to try anything that doesn't involve upsetting him any more than he is already.