I feel soooo alone

Hi everyone i tend to read the blogs rather than write one. I went drs yesterday and was told my fibro has got worse i came home and locked myself in my room crying hubby was great he made me a cuppa gave me cuddles but i just couldn't stop crying thou. I'm so scared of just how much worse it can get. Im only 44yrs old i still have a life to live but im feeling my life is over and i must now sit on the sidelines and watch my family live theirs. Im sorry for the rant hopefully i feel better once I've calmed down xx Angie xx

11 Replies

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  • Yes, I can understand, Flange, try and read your bodies signs and give it what it wants, i.e.more rest, little stretches, warm bath, rest, change of meds, soft music, little reading,and people to talk to to ease your mind, we all know it's not a good illness to suffer, because we all do suffer, I wish I actually could find something else myself to make me even happpier (my family and animals soothe me), because I sometimes feel I need something else, good luck and take it easy love Claire gentle hugs xoxoxo

  • Hi Flange1967 i no exactly how you feel love im 47 feel 90 diagnosed last month and feel like im going mad this horrible disease plays with your mind aswell as your body :-( It is a very scary experience to be told your getting worse as people who have not got it really do not understand how you feel I find a good cry helps release tension and then i just try to think THANK GOD I HAVE NOT GOT A TERMINAL ILLNESS and it always pulls me round (((.GENTLE HUGS ))) hope you feel better soon x

  • Hi

    you are not alone you have family who love you and people on here ,, as much as it can get worse it can also get better and its a possibility

    i will not give you the lines about count your blessings alow your self a wollow day and then get up and go 4 what ever you can xx

    gentle dyslexic hugx

  • Aww Bless, I hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

    Its easy to spit out the words, but our bodies never seem to listen.

    Take care lots of gentle hugs

    Susan xx

  • So sorry. I have a wallow day every few months. It is a big change but you can still have a life with so much love and happiness. Learn to pace even though it seems stupid at the time. Enjoy your loving family & laugh as much as you can as that raise your feel good factor (seratonin). Gentle hugs xx

  • Hi Flange I know excally how you feel, I am and have always been a single parent off twin boys. I have always set goals and accumplished them in my life, BUT always a BUT right! I had my children quite young at 20. my plan was that once I had complited my nurse training my boys got to 20 and me forty, that my new vaise of life would begin, I was wanting to do some travelling, new I would be a workaholic etc then the dreaded Fibro strikes. How frustrating and Rude off it. All my plans right out the window.

    So now i'm 40, so my goal has gone, but I have to remind myself every day My name is Ingrid, (not fibro) and I have a disability called fibro, I used to have some life changing plans for my future, but so did fibro so now I still have a new life one of my boys have joined the army, the other who has asperger syndrome still lives with me probably always will, he is great at being a carer with instructions, as he says we care for each other. I am making plans for what I want to do now, but lissen to my body more. I will always live my life how I want to (odvastley not with the old huge plans) and deal with fibro as i go along, One thing I do believe is that something positive can always come from something negative, take a deep breath have a cup of tea, take your time then make your next step, probably not the greatist of words honestly I hope you all the best hugs xx

  • I would like to thank all of you who commented i feel better i'm not alone. I know me and my family are different same as other families with fibro we all do things at our own paces things get done eventually. My dr has increased my mophine patches so hopefully over the next few days I will feel the benefit and sleep better (fingers crossed I would like more than 2hrs a night)

    many thanks everyone heres some gentle (((hugs))) love Angie xx

  • hi angie,

    you are soo not alone i am 45 and i have felt like you i was so active never let things get me down, i had hip replacement in feb 2010 and i must say that is when i started to struggle as despite the op it didnt make a diference cause more pain, i understand how you are feeling 100% and you are soo not alone any of you xx i had a terrible day and this site helps get you through your down days xxxx take care lovely xxx gentle huggs xx

  • Hi Angie

    I strongly suspect you are going through a grieving process for your lost chances and experiences. I suspect we have all been there; like a death it is normal to go over the steps time and again. It is so normal to be despairing, in denial, angry with it all. Eventually we have to reach an acceptance of a new kind of normal for our day to day life - chuffin frustrating though isn't it?

    I think I'm still hovering over denial so much of the time - I just want that ultimately elusive thing - a cure! I know I have to reach the goal of acceptance - but I'm no where near ready yet.

    Julie xx

  • Hi Angie, oh your poor thing. We have all felt like that I am sure, I know I have. You're still young and you see no end to your Fibro etc. What we have to think is that our Fibro can change, it can improve. It doesn't mean it will always be bad or like this. I know I have more problems than I had 4 years ago, but I manage so much better now. My pain is more controlled, I feel more positive, these are all good things. If you can improve your well being and your quality of life, you can enjoy life again. Sometimes this means having different interests at a slightly slower rate, but we can still lead full lives with Fibromyalgia. It doesn't have to mean the end to all our joys. We might need to plan a little more, and rest more, but we can still have interests to follow.

    Don't be too hard on yourself Angie, what you are feeling is completely normal. I think we have to go through that to come out the other side, to accept it and to deal with it. Once we have accepted that things are different, it's not always going to be easy, but it's easier than not accepting if that makes sense. Count your blessings, pace yourself, try to find something that really interests you and try to pursue it even if it's something more sedate than before, it doesn't matter. Our "normal" has changed, but we can make a new normal which can still be good.

    Believe me I still get days when I could scream for the old me, but on the whole I have accepted how I am and I intend to make the most of my life, it's the only one I have after all. I'm not going to waste it. If you're loved, that's half the battle. I look at my two boys and my hubby and I think it's not all bad. Bless you Angie.

  • Hi Angie,

    Just read your blog, hope when you read this you are feeling much better? It may sound daft but I am not sure how your GP can tell your fibro is worse? Do you have any antidepressants to help you to sleep? If not citalopram is fab as long as it doesn't kick ibs off if you have it, worth a try though. I take my antidepressants usually at lunch or tea time rather than just before bed. I am on escitalopram now though. I have had amitriptilyne but don't like the side effects! I am just on my antidepressants and tablets for vit D deficiency. Have you had your vit D tested recently? I use arnica gel made by SBC sold on QVC the shopping channel, go on QVC's website and have a look at the reviews. It is amazing. I haven't found anyone it doesn't work for yet and have told many many people about it. I also wash in arnica bath soak though I use it in the shower. I am careful with my diet or I try to be and don't have a lot of sugar or processed food and I am vege. I have had fibro for over 20 years only diagnosed for 6 tho. I have two quite demanding part time jobs and poorly Mum n two sisters, so you could say I am best of bad lot!! Ha ha. I did have two bad episodes three years n four years ago and was off work for 6 months one year and 3 months the following year but I have managed to claw my way back to quite a normal ish life. The best thing for me is laughter even when I don't feel like it at all! I know from this site that massage doesn't work for everyone but for me even if it is painful at the time it means days, weeks and sometimes months of very little pain in certain bits of my body mainly my arms and hands.

    I am having an awful day today but yesterday was lovely and sunny and I felt fab so never mind hey.

    Sending you big hugs and hope you are feeling better soon

    Luv

    Ruby x

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